


Love in the Time of Coronavirus

by Aspen_Writes, Azdaema, Azdaema Codes (Azdaema)



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beautiful Golden Fools, Braavos, Braavos is Italy, COVID-19, Cersei & Jaime Shenanigans, Cersei Lannister-centric, Cersei's cunning, Chaptered, College, Consensual Underage Sex, Coronavirus, Daenerys / Cersei Friendship, Essos, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Flashbacks, House Targaryen, I have no regrets, Jaime Lannister-centric, Lannister Family Drama, Loss of Virginity, More Stories To Save Lives, My Brother And My Lover, On the Run, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Cersei Lannister, POV Jaime Lannister, Pandemics, Playlist, Pre-Crisis, Quarantine, Shameless Smut, Smut, Soulmates, Stranded Abroad, Teen Romance, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tourist Attractions, True Love, Twincest, Tywin Lannister's A+ Parenting, Tywin that last tag is for you, University, Valyria, Viserys is Good, Where has the toilet paper gone, World Travel, Young Love, crackfic treated seriously, game of thrones crackfic, study abroad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:00:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 36,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23513527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspen_Writes/pseuds/Aspen_Writes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azdaema/pseuds/Azdaema, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azdaema/pseuds/Azdaema%20Codes
Summary: Tywin Lannister forgot to account for two things when he forcibly sent his two eldest children to different colleges to end their incestuous relationship: 1) study abroad and 2) that he would be unable to do a thing to separate them once a pandemic stops the world in its tracks. Cersei and Jaime are finally together with time for their love to grow -- that is if they can survive the rigors of coronavirus.
Relationships: Alysanne Targaryen/Jaehaerys I Targaryen, Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen & Cersei Lannister, Grey Worm/Missandei, Khal Drogo/Daenerys Targaryen, Rhaenys Targaryen (Daughter of Elia)/Viserys Targaryen, Tyrion Lannister/Tysha
Comments: 82
Kudos: 68





	1. Notes & Playlist

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SkySamuelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkySamuelle/gifts), [Highflyer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highflyer/gifts).



This work is dedicated to SkySamuelle who supported and and Highflyer who asked for more Jaime & Cersei

Scroll down for playlist link 

* * *

Hello all!

So, I love the Game of Thrones crackfic around coronavirus. Meanwhile, a reader has been begging me for more Jaime/Cersei centric writing. So, I decided I’m going to try blending the two together. NOW, I have never written a modern day AU GOT fic so, you’ll have to bear with me while I figure out how to make it good. You’ll all be nice to be right?

You don’t need to worry about King of Winter, it’s not going anywhere. This is just a little side diversion to help us all live in the time of coronavirus.

To make this plot and timeline work, I’ve done some switching around of ages and such. For example, Dany is a bit older than Cersei and Jaime. Roughly: Cersei and Jaime are 19, Dany is 21, and Tyrion is 13. Also, what happened to Dany’s family becomes AU and will be explained in Chapter One.

I am using a timeline of how the actual Coronavirus developed to set the dates and happenings for this. My only change is with the folklore almanac versions of the month names. The Old Moon is January and the Long Night Moon is December.

The title comes from a connection to the novel _Love In The Time of Cholera_ by Gabriel Garcia Marquez which is explored during this fic. If you haven’t read it, it’s an amazing book and you should.

The information herein about Alysanne and Jaehaerys is taken from _Fire & Blood_.

In this fic, Cersei and Jaime are going to be studying abroad. I’ve placed them right in the center of the pandemic — Braavos — which GRRM Has said is modeled off of Venice, Italy. Speaking of this, I’ve really tried to blend Essos with Europe here so you’ll see some European landmarks as well as some Essosi ones.

While I adapted some things to Westerosi names, a lot of brand names I kept the same as in our world. This is just a lot easier to do so I can focus on actually writing!

Just as with my other works, a playlist is available for this and will be posted below along with the Spotify link. This still needs some work because I haven’t gone through and added what the songs make me think of since there are so many but they fall basically into the following categories: forbidden love, young love, lovers on the run, adventure, or being sick with something. Enjoy what I have so far and I’ll keep adding explanations etc. If you have songs to recommend, send’em my way. I usually listen to this on shuffle.

Major warning. There is very young consensual sexual behavior in this story. While I understand this squicks some people out, GRRM has clearly stated that Jaime and Cersei had a sexual relationship since early childhood and I’ve chosen to keep that intact while also recognizing what is physically capable and mentally capable for them at this point in their lives. PLEASE don’t flame me and tell me the early aged sex bothers you. You have been warned.

As always, I respond to every single review and reviews feed my muse which eats them for lunch while they simultaneously warm my heart. So please review if you enjoy!

Last, but certainly not least: fanfic is fun, but for the Love of the Seven PLEASE take Covid-19 as seriously as it needs to be taken. Stay safe!

Much love,

Aspen

* * *

[The Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5HD8YdmC6zdYCZ6Dee5C9d?si=kJL_QkZCTbG6FLllZYNNtQ)

I'll keep working on and updating this. New stuff will be in bold.

  * Fever - Live (Celine Dion) - Jaime and Cersei hopes mutual attraction is causing this and not Coronavirus
  * Edge of Glory (Glee Cast) - Figuring out the Study Abroad Idea
  * Don’t Stand So Close to Me (The Police) - Social Distancing
  * Rehab (Glee Cast) - Cersei has no interest in her father’s attempts at “rehab”
  * Stayin’ Alive (Bee Gees) - Let’s Hope.
  * Hands Clean (Alanis Morisette) - This is also something you should do.
  * Contagious (Avril Lavigne) - Under Quarantine
  * Don’t Panic (Coldplay) - Don’t panic anyone but the death toll just reached the thousands
  * Hot Blooded (Foreigner) - Jaime’s feelings on all this
  * Breathless (The Corrs) - What Cersei hopes Jaime will do to her soon.
  * Bad Case of Loving You / Doctor, Doctor (Robert Palmer) - No doctor is going to cure this.
  * The Cure (Lady Gaga) - You mean you didn’t believe me the song above?
  * Alone (Heart) - Cersei and Jaime sneaking around while still both at home
  * Die Young (Kesha) - Out to the club with fellow students
  * Till the World Ends (Britney Spears) - How long they’ll be together
  * You Need to Calm Down (Taylor Swift) - And not buy up all the toilet paper for the seven sakes!
  * I Just Died In Your Arms (Cutting Crew) - We hope that’s only metaphorical for good sex.
  * Only The Good Die Young (Billy Joel) - Cersei is no model Faith of the Seven Girl, she admits it freely
  * We Didn’t Star The Fire (Billy Joel) - Uh… yeah you…kinda did J and C.
  * Burning Up (Madonna) - Cersei’s unfortunate wake-up on the plane in the morning.
  * I’m Not Okay (My Chemical Romance) - Without Each other neither is okay
  * Breathe No More [B side Version] (Evanescence) - Away at Conversion Therapy, Cersei suffers
  * I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor) - With a little help from our friends and a whole lot of TP
  * Lonely Weekend (Kacey Musgraves) - Waiting on Jaime to come
  * Still Breathing (Green Day) - She hasn’t given in to what the doctors think they’re teaching her
  * Party For One (Carly Rae Jepsen) - College without Jaime with her
  * A New Way To Bleed (Evanescence) - More ways for Tywin to hurt - sending them to college
  * All I Need (Within Temptation) - They are all each other needs if the world just wouldn’t keep them apart.
  * My Life Would Suck Without You (Glee Cast) - As the title says
  * Live Like You Were Dying (Tim McGraw) - They won’t stop because who knows how long life will last
  * I’m Alive (Celine Dion) - Starting fresh
  * My Church (Maren Morris) - Cersei and Jaime are kinda each other’s church and they admit it.
  * Frozen (Within Temptation) - Becoming desperate while separated
  * Fever (Carly Rae Jepsen) - It’ll never be over no matter who tries to stop it.
  * Renegades (X Ambassadors) - Adventures in Braavos
  * Best Day Of My Life (American Authors) - Reuniting in Italy
  * Leaving on a Jet Plane (Glee Cast) - Going to meet Cersei
  * Fire (Glee Cast) - But it’s such a good way to burn…
  * Set The Fire To the Third Bar (Snow Patrol) - Another reunion song / last night alone
  * Legendary Lovers (Katy Perry) - They could go down in the record books like the others
  * Girl On Fire (Angelica Hale cover) - Cersei has a plan to get them together again and she’s not backing down
  * When Can I See You Again (Owl City) - Lonely while apart
  * Long Live (Taylor Swift) - The Adventures they have with their new college friends
  * The Great Escape (Boys Like Girls) - Catching their planes for Braavos
  * No Air (Glee Cast) - Without Cersei it’s like this.
  * Fight Song (Angelica Hale cover) - Cersei during “rehab”
  * Keep Me Crazy (Sheppard) - How they feel about each other
  * This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things (Taylor Swift) - Tywin.. This is for you
  * Die Young (Shepphard) - Whatever trials they face,
  * Untitled (Simple Plan) - Cersei checking in to ‘rehab’ and Jaime dealing with the aftermath
  * Long Live (For King & Country) - Taking risks even after being caught.
  * One Foot (Walk the Moon) - Getting through college without each other.
  * Stronger (Kelly Clarkson) - Their relationship grew when they were apart before — can it do it again?
  * I Was Made For Loving You (Tori Kelly, Ed Sheeran) - They’ve known it since before they can remember.
  * Your Love Could Start A War (The Unlikely Candidates) - Tyrion tells them this all the time to bug them. It’s not untrue.
  * Teenage Dream (Katy Perry) - This is how Jaime makes Cersei feel.
  * Secrets (One Republic) - So many secrets kept between them and so in love.
  * Love Story (Taylor Swift) - Completely forbidden but meant to be.
  * Listen (Glee Cast) - What Jaime would say to Tywin.
  * We Owned The Night (Lady Antebellum) - The night at the lighthouse
  * Best Days of Your Life (Kellie Pickler) - Sightseeing with Jaime
  * Better Dig Two (The Band Perry) - No one else. Ever.
  * I Say a Little Prayer (Glee Cast) - Cersei thinks of Jaime while apart.
  * Born This Way (Glee Cast) - Loving Cersei is not some kind of “choice” - it’s inside him.
  * Here In Your Arms (Hellogoodbye) - The first time they hold each other at the lighthouse.
  * Stroke You Up (Changing Faces) - showers aren’t just for getting clean
  * Take Me Home Tonight (The Spinning Plates) - Going home to the flat in Braavos.
  * Start a Fire (Ryan Star) - Falling in love, first kisses
  * I Wanna Dance With Somebody Who Loves Me (Glee) - Sneaking off to high school prom. Carefully.
  * In Your Eyes - 2012 Remaster (Peter Gabriel)- In Cersei, Jaime sees everything he could ever want and the feeling is mutual.
  * Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Off Her Clothes (Panic! At the Disco)
  * Singing In the Rain / Umbrella (Glee Cast) - Reunited and fun times.
  * I Don’t Wanna Lose Your Love Tonight (Infield Boys) - Jaime’s slight fear that maybe conversion therapy will work.
  * A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me (Fallout Boy) - Their relationship becomes more physically mature.
  * Born To Make You Happy (Britney Spears) - Jaime feels he was born to make Cersei happy.
  * Animal (Glee Cast) - The way Jaime felt after his nightmare
  * Everything You Do (M2M) - Everything Jaime does makes Cersei crazy in all the right ways.
  * I Love You Always Forever (Donna Lewis) - Love never dies for them.
  * Love Shack (Glee Cast) - Well, it’s not a shack but they’ll certainly be finding the flat in Braavos pretty quickly.
  * Hold Me Now (Thompson Twins) - Meeting Jaime at the airport
  * Heaven Is a Place On Earth (Belinda Carlisle) - Their flat in Braavos
  * I Think We’re Alone Now (Tiffany) - Sneaking around to see each other.
  * Pretty Boy (M2M) - Cersei loves Jaime.
  * Fireflies (Owl City) - Nights camping out and learning their love.
  * Keep Holding On (Avril Lavigne) - Cersei swears she won’t stop loving Jaime
  * Go Your Own Way (Glee Cast) - Separating to go to different colleges
  * Hot (Avril Lavigne) - The chemistry is about to explode between these two.
  * Like a Prayer (Glee Cast) - Do you know the real meaning of this song? If you’ve read Bound then you already know Cersei is very good at doing the meaning of this song and is very much looking forward to doing said thing for Jaime.
  * I Believe I Can Fly (James Ingram) - Jaime’s feelings upon holding Cersei again the first time.
  * Control (Halsey)
  * Take My Breath Away (Glee Cast) - “You take my breath away every time I see you.”
  * Legends (Kelsea Ballerini) - Good times together and Cersei’s promises to Jaime.
  * Breakaway (Kelly Clarkson) - Plans to study abroad.
  * Queen of Hearts (We The Kings) - When Jaime doubts himself, when he hates the life Tywin is making for him, Cersei is there.
  * All About Us (He is We, Owl City) - How Cersei suddenly felt like they should follow the Idylls of Dragonstone back when they were eight.
  * **Hold You Down (X Ambassadors) - Jaime’s promises to Cersei during her time in residential treatment.**
  * **Out Of The Woods (Taylor Swift) - Reunited and how everything else just falls into the background.**




	2. Your Love Could Start A War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cersei leaves for her study abroad in Braavos and remembers incidents from her childhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right... here we go again. Definitely read the author's note above the playlist as it contains some useful things for this chapter. 
> 
> In this chapter there is some very young sexual behavior between Jaime and Cersei (thank GRRM for that). So be aware. There is also a slightly potentially triggering scene of Tywin's decision of what to do with Cersei when he learns of their incest. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

**23rd Old Moon, 2020**

Packing had been an… ordeal to say the least. She wanted to at least try to be within the baggage limits. Of course, she didn’t really care so much if she did have to pay an overweight fee, but it would be good to at least try to avoid it. That said, trying to pack her life away for an entire semester and part of the summer in the allotted three checked suitcases, one carry on, and one personal item was proving incredibly difficult. How could she know what she would need for an entire six and twenty weeks abroad? That was literally half a year!

Cersei had spent the better part of a week with the suitcases open on the floor of her room running around adding things to them, taking them back out, adding them in again, switching this for that. Taena and Aunt Genna had both tried to help but, still in frustration, she’d sent the both of them away and went back to trying to do it herself. There were dress-up clothes, in-the-middle-clothes for class, casual clothes for trips out to sightsee, lounge clothes for home, pajamas, lingerie of course — because she finally had a reason to need it, thank the Seven! — swim suits, the typical toiletries, make-up, shoes, jewelry. And, of course, the requisite room to (somehow) be left over for bringing home souvenirs.

Finally, the bags were done even if she _had_ needed to sit on them to get them to close. She had a beautiful light aqua with copper trim luggage set. It was custom made from a Myrish maker — Lipault — and shipped to her for this exact trip. Her father had balked at the expense and then ignored it on her no-limit MasterCard because that was what he always did anyway. She actually couldn’t remember a time he’d denied her anything she wanted: monetarily that was. Life was… another matter. One she didn’t want to think about and ruin her good mood and excitement over. Not right now when she was leaving in just four hours to begin her Study Abroad in Braavos for which she’d been researching, planning, and preparing for a year. Nothing was going to ruin this day for her.

She checked her lavender iPhone 11 to see if her Uber was close. Two minutes. Awesome, time to go down and flirt like hell with the driver so he’d come up to her room and take the bags to his car for her. Cersei was not about to leave her Lexus in the airport pay garage for half a year. Who knew what someone might do to it in that time. So, she’d thought it made sense to get an Uber. Plus, she was so keyed up she didn’t think she’d be able to focus on driving through busy Lannisport traffic anyway.

It barely took her any effort to charm the Uber driver into coming upstairs to help her with her luggage. He was easy peasy. One look at her long legs, waist length blonde hair, and verdant green eyes and he was sold. He actually was decently cute. Too bad for him that her heart had belonged to Jaime solely and completely since before they were even born.

Cersei took her carry-on, cross-body, bag and matching wristlet to the idling SUV and let the driver deal with the rest. At this point, she’d started wondering if she should move her extra outfit people always talked about keeping in your carry on in case you lost your luggage (what a nightmare!) into her cross-body and checking the carry-on. It would be less to deal with anyway. Inside her wristlet she’d packed away some gold dragons and silver stags, credit cards, ID, Passport, etc.

At the airport, it took barely a few sultry glances and a pert little saucy turn of her lips to get her Uber driver to take her luggage inside and right up to the counter for her. Men were so easy in that regard. She could tell he was trying to hide a boner under his jacket and couldn’t help but be amused at his predicament. She’d at least tip him well for what she’d put him through.

“So uh, Cersei, could I uh… get your number?”

Cersei smirked slightly, “Maybe when I’m home. I don’t really do long distance.” _Or cheat on Jaime._

His eyes nearly bugged out when she pulled out a a gold dragon piece and gave it to him once they were safely at the check-in counter and told him he’d been very helpful before sending him on his way.

With the Uber Driver taken care of, Cersei turned back to the agent who was checking her driver’s license. “Checking in? — Ahh Ms. Lannister.” Cersei nearly wanted to burst out laughing but bit her lip and kept herself from it. That was the typical reaction she got when she flew; suddenly they paid much more attention to you when they figured out you were a first class passenger. “Let’s see, one way non-stop to Braavos, does that sound right?”

“Yes, thank you.” Cersei would be gone so long there’d been basically no point in booking a return ticket yet.

As it turned out Cersei’s baggage was over the weight limit by a good fifteen pounds and she casually mentioned, “Well, it’s quite difficult to fit everything when going to study abroad for half a year,” with a winning smile.

“Oh how exciting! Well… I see here you do fly quite regularly with us. I could waive the overweight limit if we were to keep that between us.”

Cersei smiled, “I would appreciate that a great deal, Ma’am.” Another easy peasy — just with a different set of skills. After all, a lady always knows her courtesies.

“Would you like to go ahead and check your carry on too so you don’t have to worry about it?”

Shoot! She’d forgotten to change over an outfit. But she really was realizing she didn’t want to have to deal with more than her cross-body bag and wristlet. Oh well, if she lost her luggage, she’d just shop when she got to Braavos. She’d intended on doing that anyway — and on taking a weekend trip over to Myr to shop there too at some point. And, anyway, what were the odds they’d be so foolish as to lose a first class passenger’s baggage anyway? “Yes, I think so. It’s a long flight and not dealing with it would be nice. You’ve been ever so helpful,” Cersei said lifting her bags onto the conveyer belt that would take them to the plane.

“My pleasure, Ms. Lannister. Here is your boarding pass, and you are welcome to go through security whenever you like. Once you pass through security, you’ll find the First Class private lounge before you arrive at the gates by following the left concourse. There are also plenty of food options on the right concourse if you should like to take food on the plane.”

Cersei just nodded. She knew all that already, but was using her courtesies and didn’t interrupt. She took her boarding pass and decided to go ahead through security while the line wasn’t too long. With her pre-check, going through was a simple matter and she soon found herself facing the junction of Right and Left concourse with the huge hall of Gates straight ahead. She carefully repacked her Macbook air into her cross-body bag and put her wristlet away, too, now that she’d been through security.

Cersei opted not to eat any of the junk food available at the food court. If she was with Jaime she might have eaten some if he wanted to, but on her own she decided she’d simply wait to see what the red eye would serve for their dinner. Being first class, it was likely to be at least decent. With an hour to kill before boarding, Cersei left for the First Class lounge. It was semi-crowded with men in fancy business attire getting ready to leave on business trips all over the known world. Nonetheless, Cersei found a seat easily enough.

While she was waiting, she decided to text Shae, the real estate agent she had enlisted to help find them a flat, about some final details. After a few negotiations, she rented an amazing penthouse in a gated community in one of the best areas of Braavos.

> ## Shae
> 
> Cersei
>     I’m waiting to board my plane now.4:31 PM
>     Did you leave some food at the flat?4:31 PM
> 
> Shae
>     I did. I turned up the AC so it’d be cool when you get there as well.4:33 PM
> 
> Cersei
>     Keys?4:34 PM
> 
> Shae
>     It actually has a key card. Two, like you requested. They’re here at the agency, so you can swing by and pick them up any time once you’re here.4:37 PM
> 
> Cersei
>     Sounds good. I’m supposed to be in at 9:30 AM local time. Probably in need of a venti Starbucks caramel macchiato. I don’t usually sleep well on planes.4:39 PM
> 
> Shae
>     Let me know if there’s anything else you need and safe travels. I’ll see you soon.4:40 PM
> 
> Cersei
>     Sounds good. Sleep well. Or, actually, probably almost time to get up for you. Gods, I’m going to be jet-lagged for days.4:42 PM

Cersei looked up from her seat as one of the huge television screens flashed up a news anchor from Westerosi National Broadcasting Channel along with bars of red and white text which she was too far away to see the details of.

“Breaking News. In the midst of Yi Ti Lunar New Year the YiTish Health Organization has put Tiqui effectively under quarantine suspending all air and rail travel in and out of the city after Tiqui reported 550 cases of a new, or novel, form of coronavirus which has now led to seven and ten deaths in the city. The WHO had released a statement that there is no evidence of Novel Coronavirus spreading between humans outside of Yi Ti. As always, WNBC will be here to keep you informed of changes.”

Cersei shifted her attention from the newscaster back to the airline attendant who had started to call for the boarding of first class passengers and those with injuries or traveling with children or elderly individuals. A second queue began to form while people waited for their section of the plane to be called. Cersei walked across the connecting hallway and found her seat with ease.

Once she was settled and they’d taken off, she browsed a couple of Cosmo magazines in the early part of the flight and ate the in-flight meal which actually was halfway decent. And, to her extreme surprise, despite her excitement, did drift into a fitful sleep after an inflight movie.

Unfortunately, at some point in the middle of the night, she woke up to the cadence of the man across the aisle snoring so loudly he practically shook the seats. _All right, maybe not literally but close enough_. That, combined with her excitement and not sleeping particularly well on planes to begin with informed her she would not be getting back to sleep on this flight. She didn’t even bother checking the time given the time-skipping nature of red eye flights. She was up for the day even though she felt groggy. With a groan, she checked to see that the seatbelt off sign was illuminated before she excused herself to the tiny bathroom.

Once she was finished, Cersei returned to get her cross body bag down from the luggage compartment it had been in since take-off. As she lifted the lid of the compartment, she had to try to dodge a falling item. It was fortunate she had splashed some water on her face while in the bathroom and gotten a little less groggy or she absolutely would have been hit on the head. Clearly, she’d forgotten to zip the bag the rest of the way when she stuck her wristlet back in the bag after security and things had fallen out.

She sighed and reached down to find her fingers slide across sleek paper. For a second she was confused and then she remembered with a face that Tyrion had sent her a parcel in the mail the previous day. She had sighed about that but had brought it with her anyway as it had come with a card instructing her to do just that but not to open it until she was in Braavos. The plane, she decided, was close enough.

It was pretty easy given the shape and weight as well as knowing the giver to tell it was a book. Her complex feelings for her younger brother also meant she had just as many complex feelings about him having given her a present. Nonetheless, she slid her finger along the edge of the package and opened it. She pulled the paper back and a soft gasp caught in her throat. It was a beautiful (and old) leather bound edition of a book, but it was the golden letters that made up the title across the front that caught her eye and which she swept her finger across — _Love in the Time of Grey Plague_.

&&

“It is trash like this,” Tywin brandished one of the books in his hands, “which convinced you such abhorrent feelings were natural. I will not have either this behavior or this filth in my home,” his voice was like ice as cold as that which made up the Wall. He was barely whispering, but Cersei had no problem hearing him.

“But… I… need those for school!” It wasn’t true, but she had to say _something_. Cersei did not usually care much for books, but these books were different.

“Then I shall see that your teachers are made aware that you are not to study books like this.”

By now, Cersei was chasing her father downstairs into the living room. Her favorite books were in his hands… _Florian and Jonquil, Alysanne and Jaehaerys_ , and _Love in the Time of Grey Plague_ — an original autographed first print edition of the latter. These were the books that reassured her that the love she felt could be. Tears burned in Cersei’s eyes as she tried to keep them from falling but couldn’t quite manage it.

Cersei let out a cry of mixed rage and anguish as Tywin matter-of-factly threw the books into the fireplace. Their dry paper went up in an instant. She tried to dive for the hearth, but her father caught her and forced her backward making her stand up straight. “Stop it, Cersei. _Now._ ”

Her face crumpled like the pages of the books in the fire and she felt she could barely breathe. She ripped herself away from her father, angry tears and, embarrassingly, snot came down her face. Cersei swiped her hand across her face to remove the worst of the snot, though she knew the tears were useless.

Her Aunt Genna appeared then and said, “Oh Cersei,” in a tone that was half mollification and half slight disapproval for her childish display.

“Genna, please take Cersei upstairs to pack.”

“Of course. Come Cersei.” Genna steered her niece toward the stairs.

“Pack? What?”

“Your father has found an excellent treatment facility for you. This way you can get the help you need and we can put all of this behind us. Surely, you can’t enjoy feeling such perverse things for your brother. I only wish you had told us you needed help earlier, my sweet.”

Cersei looked at her aunt in horror. “I… I don’t need help! I don’t want to go. I just want to be away from _him_!” She shot an angry glance back down the stairs at her father’s retreating form.

“Oh sweetie, I remember how difficult four and ten is,” Genna sighed and then continued, “Of course you need help. We’re not Targaryens, my love. Such affection is completely unnatural for Westerosi, but don’t worry; after getting the help you need you’ll no longer be troubled by such… desires.”

Cersei thought of the exiled former royal family gone for nearly two decades now — ever since Robert Baratheon had staged a coup in Westeros. The Targaryens had become royalty again in Essos when they established New Valyria. They had finally been able to use modern technology and hazmat to clean up their beloved homeland. That had been just before Cersei was born and the royal couple’s youngest child Daenerys was an infant. They had had to flee quickly, and it was only due to loyal supporters that they had all escaped across the Narrow Sea unscathed. The dragonlords had lost everything — including their cache of precious dragon eggs which had long been turned to stone anyway so weren’t good for much except admiring. It was said that the incidents had driven the old king mad and it was his wife Rhaella who did much of the decision making nowadays while maesters dealt with the mentally and physically broken old king.

“But what about Jaime is— ?”

Genna sighed, obviously becoming somewhat irritated at this point. “Is not something you need to worry about right now. Come on. Let’s get you packed.”

&&

Over time, Cersei had, of course, replaced her copies of the books, but needless to say, there was just no replacing her original _Love in the Time of Grey Plague_. But this book was clearly very old, old enough to be… Slowly, Cersei opened the cover and saw the neat signature across the title page. She traced its loops as gently as one would touch a baby. Tears burned in her eyes. Tyrion had gotten this for her? She couldn’t help but sigh. She’d have to face time him when she got to Braavos and thank him.

Cersei and Tyrion’s relationship was complicated. His achondroplasia had resulted in complications in Tyrion’s birth. Joanna Lannister had birthed Jaime and Cersei naturally in a beautiful, relaxed home birth with a midwife and had been determined to deliver her third child in the same way. But Tyrion had been different. While, at birth, most children with achondroplasia don’t look much different they do sometimes have larger heads. This had posed a deadly problem when Tyrion’s head did not fit through Joanna’s pelvis properly. Ultimately, they made the decision to move her to a hospital but, by then, it was too late. They raced Joanna into the operating room for an emergency c-section and saved Tyrion, but found Joanna with internal hemorrhage from a placental abruption. And they could not stop the bleeding. Then, due to the large blood volume they had to try to transfuse, her body had rejected the transfusion and Joanna had died.

While Cersei was clearly aware Tyrion himself had not ‘killed’ their mother, it was still his existence that had caused her death. And Cersei had always been close with her mother — less so with Tywin. As a result, Cersei and Tyrion’s relationship had often been fraught with difficulties, which Jaime tried to bridge the best he could. It was a tiny mollification that he had learned of their relationship long before Tywin and had kept quiet. Though, to Cersei’s annoyance, sometime’s he’d quip at them, “You know, your love could start a war,” with a smirk.

Cersei could not understand what had prompted such a gift from her three and ten year old brother. Like the rest of the Lannister family, he had access to endless amounts of money and the ability to buy anything he wanted, but this was really extravagant and would have taken… she couldn’t even guess how long to track down this book and then have it authenticated. She could not help but instantly love it.

Cersei shot a dirty look at her still-snoring neighbor. Finally, she dug out her AirPods, found some classical music that wouldn’t distract her, and opened her new book becoming lost in the story.

The plot was just as she remembered. The two young main characters — Florentino and Fermina fall in love and and begin a secret relationship which her father ruins by taking her away. For a time they continue to communicate over time by raven but eventually learn they are strangers after years apart. Meanwhile, a young hero, a would-be maester, Urbino, who had not finished forging his chain but continued studying grey plague, courts and marries Fermina at her father’s insistence she make a good marriage. All three move on in life though Florentino swears he will never stop loving Fermina. Fermina experiences all the ups and downs of marriage and Florentino, though he swears he still loves only Fermina, goes through a time of being quite promiscuous. When they grow old, Urbino dies and Florentino and Fermina meet again. Florentino once again proclaims his love for Fermina and, after five decades apart, they attempt a life together where their love is, at last, allowed to flourish.

Somehow, unexpectedly, sleep returned to claim Cersei and she dosed off once again with the book still in her lap. She dreamed again, though this time about a memory with Jaime.

* * *

**31st Long Night Moon, 2008**

Jaime had long figured out that the celebration of the new year was one of the best times for getting up to hijinks their father probably would not approve of. Often enough (read: always) he would drag Cersei into whatever he had come up with for that year. It was laughable what they could get up to sneaking out of their rooms in Casterly Rock while the adults attended the social-event-of-the-year party downstairs. Better yet, this year Aunt Genna preoccupied with Tyrion (read: the two year old terror). He had recently had a surgery to reset the misshapen bones in his lower legs to allow him to walk with less pain. After the surgery, the terrible twos had turned into something unearthly once Tyrion was feeling well enough to be out of bed but still wasn’t supposed to be walking on his legs.

Yes, everyone was quite busy and that suited Cersei and Jaime just fine. They only needed each other.

“Shh, don’t walk so loud!” Cersei scolded, struggling to hold back her giggles as she and Jaime pulled each other into the now-darkened kitchen. Earlier tonight, the chefs had been bustling about to prepare the lavish feast the adults were enjoying, but now everything was quiet.

“Fraidy Lion,” Jaime accused, smirking.

“I am not!” Cersei protested, smacking at her twin even while bursting into giggles.

“Good. There is no way they will hear us from the other side of the keep anyway. Now, come on! Let’s make our movie snacks.”

“What do you want to make?”

“Everything,” Jaime said, grinning. “Everything Aunt Genna says is bad for us and will rot our teeth.”

“All right, so sugar definitely — ideally in the form of ice cream.”

“Agreed. And pizza. There’s one we can bake while we set up everything in my room.” Jaime had the big screen television he played video games on in his room, so movie watching in there made sense.

“Let’s make ice cream sundaes with _all_ the toppings,” Jaime said with a huge grin on his face.

“Yes! I’ll get the toppings.”

“I’ll get the ice cream and pizza from the freezer. Meet back here in three minutes?”

“Yep.” They high-fived each other before running — and for Cersei sliding given she was in sock feet — to get their agreed upon supplies. Out of the fridge came caramel, butterscotch, fudge, and strawberry sauce, nuts, whipped cream, sprinkles, chocolate rock syrup, cookie dough pieces, fudge pieces, M&Ms, peanut butter cups, Thin Mint Westerosi Girls Group cookies, gummy bears, brownie bites, and mini marshmallows. That ought to be enough. Then, she pre-heated the oven for the pizza and got out a pizza pan and lined it with baking paper expertly.

Jaime returned already getting the pizza out of the box — or trying with one hand given his other was busy holding fruit — bananas, a container of strawberries, maraschino cherries, pineapple, blueberries, raspberries, and shaved coconut.

They had really gone overboard, but who cared.

They quickly assembled their treats. Jaime created some monster with _four_ scoops of rocky road ice cream. Then he added in fudge sauce, cookie dough bites, brownie bites, chocolate sprinkles, banana pieces, and thin mint. “You are about to have a chocolate overload. Big time,” Cersei said, giggling and green eyes flashing.

“No such thing!”

Cersei used pistachio and vanilla ice cream for her base and added chocolate rock syrup, oreo, and thin mint, nuts, and whipped cream. She put the berries on a try with extra of the chocolate sauce and then found them white sparkling grape juice. She couldn’t find champagne glasses so she just took regular glasses. Everyone else was having fun with the alcohol, Cersei and Jaime might as well too with the fake stuff. She’d have suggested trying real champagne, but they’d probably get caught and be in a whole lot more trouble with Aunt Genna than for just eating a bunch of pizza and ice cream to rot their teeth.

They had to make a trip just to bring all the snacks to the bedroom. Then, they had to wait on the pizza to bake. Technically, Cersei wasn’t sure they were supposed to use the oven on their own, but it wasn’t like they didn’t know _how_. And they had done fine anyway.

“Let’s go pick a movie!” Cersei said, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement. Jaime grabbed her hand and they dashed down the hallway and into the game room where all the media was kept. There were shelves upon shelves upon shelves of Blu-rays, and DVDs, and that didn’t even begin to count the numerous video games for every system available all the way back from an ancient Sega with Pac Man up to the most current games for X-Box Live

Suddenly, Cersei had a good idea. “You know what. I know what we should watch. Bring me a chair.”

Jaime looked at her with a grin. He wanted to show off. “Sit on my shoulders.”

She giggled again. “Lean down then.” Cersei scampered over Jaime’s back and up to his shoulders with a leg to either side. When he stood up, she was tall enough to reach the top two shelves of movies. This was were the ‘adult’ movies were kept, and she knew exactly which one she wanted. Even at their private school where good girls weren’t supposed to talk about these things, Cersei’s coterie of friends had mostly seen _The Idylls of Dragonstone_.

Released in 1997 AC and directed by the esteemed Jaimes Camyren, it had recently seen a re-release in in theaters and on Blu-Ray to commemorate the 1550th anniversary of the events of the movie. The gossip had begun all over again to many adult movie-goers pleasure and the rue of parents of tween and teen girls the nation over given the movie’s PG-3-and-10 rating when many said the content ought to have received an M rating and it was said the historical context had helped the movie keep its lower rating.

Girls swooned over the romance between young Queen Alysanne and her older brother King Jaehaerys Targaryen. Boys, the country over, meanwhile, jerked off to the beautiful Catelyn Wynslet, the Lyseni actress with cornsilk blonde hair, pale complexion, and blue eyes who looked just like young Alysanne. Specifically, the interest was the fact that in one notable scene she bared herself to be drawn by her brother and husband, after which they had made love. This last had been a controversial change given the real couple had not consummated their marriage until Alysanne was a little older. Otherwise, the movie was quite accurate, following the couple’s development on Dragonstone whilst they strengthened their bonds and waited for Jaehaerys to reach his legal majority. The film saw them learn the skills to become the magnificent King and Queen they had been. The movie ended when Jaehaerys, hand in hand with his sister and Queen, presented himself to all Westeros on the day he came of age.

Needless to say, during the film’s theater re-release, Aunt Genna had said a big flat “Absolutely not,” when Cersei begged to see it. But there was no reason not to now. Even Jaime was amenable to the idea given the large portions of time Jaehaerys learned sword fighting on Dragonstone and the fact that… if he could… he’d never let go of Cersei just like Jaehaerys never did of Alysanne. He didn’t know how he knew that at eight, but he did. It was something born in him. Something he had told Cersei and she had agreed.

They scampered to Jaime’s room with their forbidden movie while grabbing bites of their slightly melting ice cream. Cersei worked her way through the previews while Jaime ran downstairs to retrieve their pizza and cut it. It was a messy cut, but it would serve. He had been in a hurry. The opening track music was playing with trailer scenes when he got back. There was Alysanne running to Jaehaerys, grasping his hands, and telling him they planned to betroth her Orryn Baratheon and they must run away, the two of them sneaking away on Silverwing and Vermithor, and a scene of them running along the beach at Dragonstone hand in hand with their matching long golden hair flowing loose and laughing. How often Jaime and Cersei had done this exact thing at the Rock in the Summer Sea she couldn’t even begin to be counted.

Jaime gave Cersei a piece of pizza, poured her some sparkling grape juice, and handed her her ice cream as they settled in to watch. Both were captivated by the beauty, excellent filming, pacing, and plotting of the film from the beginning. Ice cream and pizza devoured, Cersei found Jaime’s hand creeping over to meet hers. Her fingers slipped through his as easily as if they had belonged there forever. They had. Cersei and Jaime had been holding each other’s hands from not even an hour after birth and would scream unendingly if they were put in separate cradles. They had slept in the same bed until they were four upon, which their mother had stumbled upon them snuggling, touching, and wearing no clothes. Horrified, she’d separated their rooms and Cersei and Jaime both found themselves alone at night for the first time — and miserable.

These days, they snuck out to join one another often enough once Cersei’s bedmates were asleep. Jaime would always wake her and make sure she was back in her room before either her maid or her bedmates awakened. He usually did it with a soft kiss to her lips or cheek. As far as Cersei was concerned, there was no better way to wake up.

Cersei didn’t know quite how it happened, but as they reached the mid-point of the movie where Alysanne and Jaehaerys consummated their marriage, a strange excited stomach churning feeling began in her she couldn’t explain. It felt as if Alysanne and Jaehaerys were so close, that nothing was separating them mentally or emotionally. That was, Cersei reflected, how she felt about Jaime and herself. And something in her said…. She wanted Jaime to kiss and hold her like Jaehaerys was doing to Alysanne on screen.

“Jaime,” she murmured, keeping her hand locked in his as they both still stared at the screen where now the Kingsguard was defending the young royals and refusing to let their mother remove them from Dragonstone if this was where the young king wished to stay — of legal majority or not.

“Mm hm?” Jaime asked, tipping his head to look at her.

“I want you to kiss me like Jaehaerys kissed Alysanne.”

Jaime didn’t hesitate, because, somehow, this felt absolutely right. He didn’t need to even think about it. He also didn’t need to think about how to do it. They were so like each other that even now they could switch places and even their father could not tell. They did it often enough. Cersei wanted to take Jaime’s fencing lessons and Jaime did _not_ like his reading and penmanship lessons given they had learned of his dyslexia once he got into school. It was laughably easy to meet in a school bathroom, change clothes, leave separately and then change back later in the day with no one the wiser. It was _fun_.

Jaime pulled Cersei into his lap so they were facing each other and drew her to him. Their twin green eyes stared into each other in the darkness, the glow of the television screen the only light. They had kissed plenty of times, but right from the beginning this was different. They’d already learned how to tip their noses and breathe, but those kisses had been short, sweet.

This time, Jaime’s mouth was firm and insistent on Cersei’s and her arms wrapped around him tight. Her fingers began to work their way through his beaten-gold hair that she so loved. It matched hers; it suited him. Jaime shivered slightly and let out a soft happy sound as Cersei’s fingers tangled gently through his hair and he felt her begin to move her mouth with his.

It took them a little while to figure out the pace and movements of a “real” kiss, but not long. They were too connected for it to take long. She felt Jaime’s arms draw her nearer as he leaned back against the pillows and Cersei followed. His hands gently explored her back and their mouths separated for a moment. Her lips were swollen and she was gasping for breath. Jaime’s chest was rising quickly, shallowly. Their green eyes were wide.

“More,” Cersei said decisively.

Jaime didn’t have to be told twice as he brought his mouth to hers and their lips collided again. It was a few minutes later when he thought to try something he’d seen Jaehaerys’s actor do. Slowly, maybe a little awkwardly, he slipped his tongue across his sister’s lips to part them and then let his tongue brush, just the tip of hers for a few moments.

He could taste the mint in her kiss and she could taste the chocolate in his. A little shudder of enjoyment went through her that Jaime didn’t need to ask if it was good because he just knew that. He knew every little detail of Cersei — every inch of her body and mind. She held tight to him as his tongue brushed hers again. It felt like fireworks behind hr closed eyes and in her head as her own tongue began to tentatively brush Jaime’s.

She wasn’t sure how long they had been kissing this way when she felt, through the thin material of Jaime’s pajama pants that he was a little hard. They didn’t stop kissing and it got a lot more hard. Cersei knew that was something that happened to Jaime when his body felt good. She knew it because, since their earliest memories, they had explored each other. It was always just when he was happy and he felt good that this happened to him. Cersei had to admit she… kind of liked it. She was glad she was making her brother feel good and he was making her feel good too. Jaime shifted and made a little sound as Cersei pressed more tightly against him to feel him better. His fingers knotted tight in her hair but never tight enough to hurt her. Never.

By the time their kisses ended and they had slipped down in the bed beneath the covers on their backs, hands still clasped and breathing hard with red, swollen lips Cersei had decide that she liked ‘real’ kissing and intended to make sure Jaime would kiss her like that again.

“I love you, Cersei,” Jaime whispered, sleepily.

“I love you too, Jaime,” Cersei whispered back, rolling to her side to snuggle against him with her face against his chest just the way she liked it.

* * *

**24th Old Moon, 2020**

When Cersei woke up to the unpleasant sensation of sun glare sneaking in through the crack in her window cover and blinding her she groaned. She had been awakened from her dream because she was pretty sure the pilot announced they were approaching Braavos and would begin descent in about half an hour. She stretched feeling stiff and most definitely jet lagged. She’d get over both.

The next thing she noticed, once she fumbled her window cover closed the proper way, was that beneath her skinny jeans and her lacy peach panties, she was absolutely soaking wet. _Oh for — dammit!_ “Gods, it’s been too long since I’ve had sex,” Cersei muttered under her breath with a groan.

When they were eight, neither of them had been old enough for their bodies to even start changing and, yet, dreaming about that night they’d truly learned how to kiss had done _this_. “Tomorrow. You’ll survive until Jaime gets here. It’s tomorrow,” she told herself very sternly before seizing what she figured were the last few seconds of the no seatbelt sign to get up and go to the bathroom.

When she got to the flat, she was going to need either a very cold shower or a long warm one. And soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up Next: 
> 
> If you liked this, please give me a review! I answer them all and they feed my muse! 
> 
> Cersei and Jaime are reunited in Braavos and we learn a little more about how they got to where they are now.


	3. Doctor, Doctor, Gimme the News — I’ve Got a Bad Case of Lovin’ You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime reflects on his history with Cersei while preparing to leave for Braavos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, 
> 
> A few notes for you lovelies.
> 
>   * I’ve updated the playlist. The page split shows where I stopped putting in song meanings before and then started again with adding in the meanings and the bold are brand new songs.
>   * Once again, the warning of very young sex exists. 
>   * There is also some pretty rough stuff concerning conversion therapy that could potentially be triggering. So just know that is here. 
>   * The Thunder Moon is July and the Hunter Moon is October. 
>   * I’m absolutely floored and thankful for the outpouring of interest I’ve gotten in this! I wasn’t sure how a ‘serious’ coronavirus fic would go over, but from what I can tell, you guys are loving it! All the reviews fed my muse so fast I’ve got out two chapters in ONE WEEK. That’s impressive for me LOL. Thank you so much for reviewing: LionessOnTheThrone, SkySamuelle, Emmapemma_98, Highflyer, and Para. 
> 

> 
> Without further ado.

**22 nd Old Moon, 2020**

“Tension.”

Jaime felt the slack in the rope tighten and he leaned back in his harness though his feet were still on the rock grips. He was breathing hard. He looked up at the wall trying to see what was the logical next hand hold and catch his breath.

“Giving up?” the belay called from below.

“Oh hell no. Just taking a breather.” Jaime lifted himself back onto the wall again and began to search for a foot hold. He loved challenge of the advanced section of the wall where there were no tape markers to show you a route and you had to work it out yourself while sometimes climbing over huge protrusions and nearly on your back sometimes.

At nineteen, Jaime not only was athletic but had what seemed to be never-ending energy. Earlier that day, he had already been to fencing practice. But that had been in the morning and by the afternoon he was itching to do something to pass the time. In 24 hours he was leaving to meet Cersei in Braavos for their study abroad, and if he didn’t keep himself busy, he was pretty sure he was going to lose his mind. So, he came to do something he enjoyed — the rock climbing gym. He’d been climbing since he was a pre-teen and, over time, had gotten good at it and could climb the toughest walls available — though the really, really hard ones like the one he was working on today were still a challenge.

Down below, he heard his phone vibrating in his gym bag for the second time in half an hour. That’d be Cersei. She was the only one who ever blew up his phone like that. And, he had to admit, usually he didn’t mind. That meant she wanted him and wanting him always sent a thrill through him.

“Dude, who’s blowing up your phone?” Derryck asked.

“Probably Cersei. She asked me earlier if I packed yet for Braavos, and I didn’t answer her yet.”

Derryck snorted. “Man. If she wasn’t your sister I’d say she was as needy as a girlfriend.”

Jaime smirked and bit his lip in amusement, “You’re not wrong.” On either count. “But… she’s my sister. My job to look out for her and all.” He paused, staring up at the rocks above. “But she can wait until I get up there.” Jaime hated giving up on a wall. It drove him crazy. But being anxious to see what Cersei had sent seemed to give him the needed motivation to finish the course and he was soon back down on the ground chugging a bottle of water and resting on one of the floor’s comfortable padded mats.

> ## Cersei
> 
> #####  **Today** , 3:30 PM
> 
> Cersei
>     Did you pack yet?
> 
> Cersei
>     Not answering means you didn’t pack yet.
> 
> Cersei
>     You know packing is a requisite activity to getting on the plane to see me.
> 
> #####  **Today** , 4:37 PM
> 
> Cersei
>     I packed lingerie.

Jaime’s heart accelerated at the last message.

> #####  **Today** , 5:56 PM
> 
> Jaime
>     I started.
> 
> Cersei
>     What you mean by started is that your suitcase is out of the closet and you have like one outfit in it.

She wasn’t wrong.

> Jaime
>     Guilty. I’ll pack when I get home. Promise.
> 
> Cersei
>     You better.
>     I miss you so much. I just want you to hold me.
> 
> Jaime
>     I want that too, Cers.

Jaime closed his eyes and clenched them shut. A year and a half. Eighteen months, one week, two days… He was pretty sure he could have worked out the minutes too. He wanted her in his arms so much it was almost a tangible thing and almost a _need_ : a need like oxygen.

Throughout their mid and late teenage years, they had had to work hard to keep their relationship a secret — especially after their father had discovered them once. But not being together wasn’t even an option. The idea of not holding Cersei, not making love to her, not being with her had ben something neither of them could bear. And so they had continued, but under even more care.

Only Tyrion knew — both before and after being caught — because no one could fool him about anything. The kid was a freaking literal genius with an IQ to prove it. Sometimes when Jaime struggled to even write letters correctly when he was tired he was jealous of Tyrion and his perfect mind. Though Jaime knew Tyrion was jealous of Jaime’s extreme athletic prowess. Jaime only hoped said prowess would even matter.

Jaime had always known he wanted to do something athletic as a career. It was when he had found fencing during junior high school that it became clear to him what he ought to be doing. He loved every second of it from the moment a coach put a foil in his hand to start learning with. Jaime also loved the traditional sword fighting lessons he got. He’d begged for them from the time Uncle Gerion finally recovered long lost BrightRoar from Valyria when Jaime was nine. The skills for the two seemed to blend seamlessly together and he was never more happy than when he had a sword in hand or Cersei in his arms. Those were times he felt _alive_.

Problematically, his Father thought the idea of becoming a competitive professional fencing champion was absolutely ridiculous. The Lannister family had always been a huge political player in Westeros, and Jaime’s father intended for Jaime to follow in Tywin’s footsteps. He had strong-armed Jaime into a political science major that, generally, just made him miserable. Still, he worked on it because he didn’t want his fencing or sword fighting lessons to be taken away. Yes, maybe he was 19 but Tywin held a certain power over his children that they could not name. It was simply as if disobeying wasn’t… possible. It had always been that way. Perhaps some of it was financial dependence, but that wasn’t all of it. There was something about the way Tywin commanded and people obeyed. So, miserable as the major made him, Jaime kept up with it.

The opposite was true for Cersei. Politics and the intricacies of the ‘Game of Thrones’ fascinated her endlessly. She could scrutinize politics, campaigns, laws, all of it endlessly. It would have been so much easier if Tywin would have just let Cersei be his heir. She loved it and Jaime could focus on his fencing. But… no. It always had to be the way Tywin wanted. So, Cersei was required to take something appropriately feminine. She studied literature and languages and Jaime knew she had added a poly sci minor on the down low. He knew that because without her help over Facetime there was no way he basically wouldn’t be failing his polysci classes for sure.

Facetime was all they could have right now. It made Jaime angry and frustrated when he thought about it. They had spent the interim years between their father discovering them and leaving for college having to be extremely careful, though they always found ways to be together.

Sometimes, he and Tyrion covered for each other. His thirteen year old brother had skipped two years of school and was already a freshman taking every AP class offered to him at that level as well as a couple of sophomore ones besides. Clearly, he had been born with all the brains in the family. But now he was interested in a girl named Tysha. Jaime had met her only once and thought she was sweet and even pretty. And she seemed to really like Tyrion. They were both brains. Tyrion had been obsessed with dragons and the idea of flying since he could first talk. The fact that he’d decided he was going to study astrophysics and become an astronaut surprised absolutely no one. Tysha liked science too. Jaime had first realized something was going on a few months ago.

The only problem was that Tysha was extremely poor. It was only her and her father, and he was an inventor but didn’t make much money. She was only at Tyrion’s magnet school due to a scholarship. It was the kind of relationship Tywin would have deemed absolutely impossible had he known. Likewise, if he found out about Jaime and Cersei a second time Jaime could only guess at what he’d do. It would not be good.

It seemed that, somehow, Tywin had never stopped being suspicious of the two of them even years after he believed he’d addressed Cersei’s ‘issues.’ Jaime had hoped they would have some freedom when they went away to college. His plan was thwarted right away by Tywin insisting Jaime study at the Citadel while Cersei was to attend a liberal arts college. A liberal arts college near King’s Landing where Tywin could keep an eye on her while he worked his political genius.

With Cersei living right beneath their father’s scrutiny, sneaking off to visit each other, especially since they were across the entirety of the country from one another, had proven impossible. Tywin would know if Cersei was gone and would know if Jaime came there. At holidays Tywin pushed them to enroll in extracurricular vacations and activities that ensured their scheduled time at home never seemed to match up. He always stated it was ‘too bad’ and ‘coincidental’ but Jaime didn’t believe that for a second — not after a single break not lining up for over a year now.

But Tywin had failed to consider study abroad. It was Cersei who came up with the idea. She had suggested it to her father casually and then enrolled for a semester and part of a summer in a student exchange program in Braavos. A while later, Jaime had made his move, enrolling in the same program. But he didn’t say anything about it. Tywin monitored his actions much less than Cersei’s, so it was easy enough to fly under the radar. So far, Tywin still was completely clueless that the two arranged the study abroad _together_. No doubt he was congratulating himself on assuring that not only were his children separated for half a year but they were in totally other countries.

By the time he figured it out, it would be too late for him to interfere. The thought made Jaime grin. Six months to be with Cersei away from Tywin’s prying eyes and in a country where they could live as they wished. That was especially true given that Essos had become much more free since the Targaryens had re-taken Valyria. They had exerted an influence over the free cities and Slaver’s bay. They could not stop the slave trade, but they had certainly opened the continent up to more liberal ways of thinking. Not to mention, the plan would be for their youngest daughter Daenerys to marry her eldest brother Rhaegar when the time came. It was something known throughout Essos. No one would judge whatever they did — unlike in Westeros.

He and Cersei had rented a flat from some Pentoshi bigwig who owned luxury properties all over Essos — Ilyrio Jaime thought his name was, though their real estate agent and Cersei had handled all those particulars. They could stay together. They could be free and not have to hide. Their relationship would flourish just the way it had before anyone had discovered their secret.

They had always been close. They had always touched and kissed and cuddled from an early age. It wasn’t something Jaime had ever questioned. They’d been doing it since before he could remember.

It was innocent. Until it wasn’t.

* * *

**7 th Thunder Moon, 2012**

“Excuse me, I can put up a tent just as well as you can!” Cersei exclaimed.

Jaime laughed, his green eyes dancing. “You just try then,” he said stepping back and crossing his arms with a mirthful expression.

“Okay! I will!” His twin lifted her chin in a proud expression before turning her back on him and looking at the various unassembled parts of the tent.

They wouldn’t need the stakes since they were setting it up on top of the huge backyard trampoline they had for added comfort. It would make a soft, springy bed. So, that meant she wouldn’t have to deal with those parts. They had already bounced around laying down blankets over the surface of the trampoline for a soothing texture beneath the tent bottom. But that was the easy part.

They did it often enough, setting up the tent on the trampoline in the backyard. In the past year, Tyrion had been begging to join them, but Aunt Genna did not trust him on the trampoline yet — especially since it wasn’t the type that had one of those net guards for _babies_.

But tonight, in Jaime’s opinion, was probably the best night for setting up a tent. It was Westeros Day which fell on the 7th day of the Thunder Moon every year and all sorts of outside activities were done: grilling out, barbecue, yellow and gold deserts for the reigning house Baratheon and usually also the house colors at any home celebrations. There were all sorts of snack foods — chex mix, chips, veggies and dip, popsicles. There was a huge, juicy watermelon that made Jaime’s mouth water just waiting on it to be sliced. Pretty much any picnic food you wanted could be found.

And, of course, the Lannister Family Westeros Day was another of the season’s social events. Family and friends and members of liege houses were all over the outer bailey, gardens, outside the walls and the beach below. The crowd and the food and the music blasting out of the outdoor speakers put everyone — even their father — in a festive mood. Of course, the best part of the evening was the massive amounts of fireworks and sparklers that would be set off. Uncle Gerion was in charge of arranging the fireworks and he always went absolutely _overboard_. This year he was boasting that the display would last two full hours and include more types of fireworks than he’d ever gotten before. It was as if he felt the need to outdo himself every year. Jaime was excited for the fireworks, he had to admit.

He turned his attention back to Cersei and watched his sister trying to shake out the tent and work the poles through the fabric holes while dealing with the excess material. He noted she was getting frustrated with the task because it really wasn’t that easy to put a tent up by yourself anyway. But he wasn’t letting her out of it. He was going to make her admit she needed help, so he just stood there grinning with his arms crossed still.

“Okay. Fine,” Cersei finally said, exasperatedly. “I need help. But with help I can set up a tent as good as you can.” She hurried to add the last part. “And stop smirking at me like that!” She reached out to smack him, but Jaime got out of the way too fast, taking a quick few steps backward.

Cersei gave him a look. “If we weren’t in the middle of the grounds, I’d kiss that smug smirk right off your face.”

“I’d let you anyway.”

“Jaime! You have no fear do you?”

“When it relates to you? Nope, not really. Here. Hold this pole while I thread the other one through so they cross right.”

Cersei shook her head. “You’re incorrigible,” she said, holding the pole as instructed.

“Yep.”

“Do you even know what that means?”

“Yes. Though usually the R’s end up reversed and the G too and the B is upside down and reversed. But it’s spelled —”

“Case in point,” Cersei interrupted, rolling her eyes at him but giggling in spite of herself. “Come on, put on the rain guard, you’re taller.”

Jaime did as requested and then decided to thread some rope through the holes meant for the stakes and tie it beneath the trampoline spring cover to make absolutely sure the tent wasn’t moving even though it probably wasn’t necessary as it wasn’t windy or anything.

In fact, the weather was perfect. It was sunny and cloudless and the late afternoon light cast long shadows over them. Even in the winter, the southerly conditions of Casterly Rock meant the weather was still almost always warm here. Still, didn’t hurt to take the extra precautions with the tent.

He stood back to admire their handiwork. “Now _that_ is a tent.” And it was. Their tent was a giant dome tent, black with red and gold trim.

“You know…” Jaime said thoughtfully.

“What are you thinking?” Cersei asked. Jaime was pretty sure she could see the wheels spinning in his mind.

“We could take father’s big sleeping bag. He certainly won’t notice it’s missing tonight — not that he camps all that much anyway or… ever.” Actually, the idea of his father camping made Jaime almost laugh. The tent was like a bunch of other things the Lannisters had just to say they had one. But it was only Cersei and Jaime who ever used it. They loved laying out with the tent door open looking at the stars on warm nights like tonight.

“And it would be big enough for both of us to cuddle in,” Cersei finished his thought easily.

“Yep. I’ll get it. You can start getting anything else.”

“Want your iPod?”

“Yes probably.”

The twins had gotten prototype models of the brand new iPod touch 5th generation due in stores in two months. They had had the cases custom colored — Jaime’s was gold and Cersei’s was red with gold sparkles. They loved listening to music on them these days. And getting videos from iTunes to watch together when Cersei snuck into his room at night. She’d pillow her head on his shoulder and they’d watch together.

They went their separate ways. Jaime hauled back the double person sleeping bag with no trouble and tossed it into the tent. He scrambled up after it and got in the tent to straighten it out. He also brought a blanket just in case it got cool in the night, though he didn’t think it was going to.

Cersei came back with a couple of bags of chips and the like she’d snitched from the party table for if they were hungry in the night as well as a couple of pops. She brought the cooler and put popsicles in it even. And, of course, the requested iPods.

Jaime thought about it and went running back into the house for a couple of pillows from his bed. Accidentally he knocked the x-box controller down beside the bed and groaned. He got down on his hands and knees to retrieve it and grinned seeing Cersei’s birthday present smartly hidden between the bed leg and the wall where she wouldn’t see it. They’d be 12 in a few weeks and he had no intention of her discovering the present he’d worked so long to get. Remote control retrieved, he jumped up again. On his way out he grabbed a couple of flashlights too.

“Think we’ve got everything?” Cersei asked eyeing the tent thoughtfully.

“I think so. And if we don’t it won’t be hard to run back and get it anyway. There are benefits to camping in the bailey.”

“Do you want to swim while we wait for them all to get ready to eat? Doesn’t look like the chef is done grilling.”

Cersei smiled and nodded, “Yes. Go change!” and then she raced off to do the same herself.

It took Jaime significantly less time to reach the beach in his swim trunks. They were black based with aqua blue, white, and grey stripes of varying sizes. Cersei, of course, had picked them out. He dropped his beach towel on the sand as well as his t-shirt and sandals. Several people were already down in the water including a group playing water volleyball. He waded in the shallows while waiting for Cersei and wondering for the millionth time how it could possibly take girls so long to get ready for _anything_ if changing clothes was involved.

Then, Cersei appeared on the beach and Jaime’s mind shut up and his impatience vanished. She was shimmying out of a pair of jean shorty shorts. They were the new ‘distressed’ style with some loose threads at the bottom. She wore wedge heels with white straps — she left both items on her towel. Her bikini was white with a print of bright red cherries with green leaves shot through with black stripes. It had narrow red straps. The bottoms were the same print with red ribbons for tying up the sides. It accentuated the new curves her body had started developing a year ago or so. Around her neck, she was wearing a sand dollar on a leather cord that Jaime had given her. She wore it often enough when they swam. She had her hair done up in a thick braid to keep it out of her eyes.

He had to go deeper in the water. _Fast_. In the last year or so that had become a problem. At random times but also just about any time he liked what Cersei was wearing. Fortunately, he now had the water to keep anyone from noticing. Then again, there were plenty of girls here so no one would guess, but that didn’t mean he wanted it to be particularly obvious either!

Cersei made him forget his worries as she came running into the surf and a wave spritzed against them covering both their faces with droplets of salt water. Cersei turned happily in a circle with her hands out as she let the sea salt spray coat her skin. She was always so happy when they played in the water or sat on the beach together. It was a time she seemed to feel free and playful with no worries.

He grasped her hand and spun her around in the water. Then, he took both of her hands and began to spin her with their hands as the only point of contact. Eventually, one of them would, inevitably go splashing backward into the water. Cersei laughed so freely, tipping back her head into the light as it played golden in her hair and Jaime was the one to loose his balance quite fast in the wet sand and go splashing down into the water. Cersei reached out her hand to help him and he decided to be mean, hauling her down in the water with him.

“Hey! That was SO not fair!” Cersei exclaimed, taking her hands and splashing a wall of water at him.

“All’s fair in love and war, sweet sister,” he whispered in her ear. And when he noticed that at that single moment no one was watching him he kissed her just behind her ear and pulled back quickly, unseen but certainly not unnoticed if Cersei’s slight shiver was anything to judge by. He didn’t have time to think about it much before Cersei reached forward to his chest and gave him such a firm push he went right under the water. He came up spluttering and shaking his hair out of his eyes. “Oh, you are _so_ going to pay.”

Cersei shrieked and went sprinting out of the water and up the beach and Jaime followed. Cersei was fast but Jaime’s legs were longer and he caught up with her eventually. It barely took him a minute to pick her up. He grinned up at her. “No! Jaime! No! Please! ARGH!” Cersei shrieked as Jaime tossed her off into the water deep enough to send her all the way under.

And this time it was her turn to come up coughing and trying to get her hair out of her eyes since some of her braid had come down due to their antics. “Get in here!”

Jaime obeyed and went dashing into the water to join his twin. For a while, they swam along the coastline trying to avoid the volleyball players and getting run into — or hit by the ball. Cersei was a fast swimmer and sometimes Jaime actually had trouble keeping up with her. Finally, tired of swimming he said, “Let’s walk up to the tide pools.”

Cersei agreed. They walked along the beach edge still enough in the surf that the waves came racing in around their ankles. Eventually, they turned the corner from the beach where Casterly Rock jutted off into the sea and high, high up to the keep above. One part of the giant wall of rock had been carved into the shape of a lion in repose.

They rounded another corner and walked under a natural stone arch. By now they were well out of seeing view of anyone so Jaime reached over to lace his fingers through his sister’s, giving her hand a soft squeeze. In the surf, he stopped long enough to lean down and draw a heart with their initials in it. Of course, the waves washed it away, but not before Cersei saw and smiled the softest, happiest smile just for him. Her green eyes shown with unadulterated joy.

Jaime grabbed her hand and pulled her into the shadows of the arch where he wrapped her in his arms and caught her lips beneath his. Her mouth tasted of sea salt and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She was warm against his skin and he kept her close against him, his hands feeling gently along the curves of her back and they didn’t stop until they were both completely breathless and heard the sound of people yelling about supper to all the wayward party-goers.

“Guess we better go.”

“Yes,” she said, regretfully, linking her fingers in his for one more squeeze before they walked back to the main beach and dried off and Cersei shimmied back into her shorts and sandals and Jaime put his sandals back on as well before they went up to the three gigantic tables laid end to end heaping with food and got plates.

Of course, at that point, Jaime’s attention shifted to food. In the past year or so, he’d started to eat a gigantic amount of food, especially when he’d been training with either swords — which he did for fun and because it had always run in the family (and especially when Uncle Gerion had gone to Valyria and came back with BrightRoar which Jaime was determined to inherit) — or fencing, which he was learning and was starting to participate in contests for teens for it and doing very well. However, at this point he just ate a gigantic amount of food in general. He could eat more in a couple of days than Cersei could eat in week.

They went and found a place to sit and eat as the sunset painted beautiful pictures out across the ocean. By that time it was pretty much just waiting for the fireworks. Especially because all the little kids — including Tyrion — were running around with sparklers and writing words in the air with the afterglow of their motions. In the moments no one was paying attention, Jaime was able to sneak his hand into Cersei’s now and again and she would do the same, squeezing back.

Once the fireworks began, they went to take their comfy places on the edge of the trampoline, sitting in the doorway of the tent, long legs dangling together off the edge. Occasionally, he’d push his leg or foot against hers, giving it a playful shove and she’d do it back.

Cersei had taken down her hair by now, its former braid a lost cause of loose strands. Her hair was still damp from the water and was drying wavy and long down her back. She was still wearing the bikini top and the short shorts. Her sandals had fallen off in the grass below the trampoline, and she hadn’t bothered to retrieve them, revealing red pedicured toenails and the light scar on the top of her right foot where she’d cut it on a rock in the ocean the last summer and Jaime had carried her all the way back to the keep rather proudly. He brushed his toe along the scar causing Cersei to look at him.

The moment was ruined when Tyrion ran by giggling and gave Jaime a sparkler. He reached out and ruffled their brother’s hair and Tyrion ran off again. Jaime might have invited him to stay and watch for a while, but he was long gone. Since the surgeries to help his legs be less bowed and painful, he rarely seemed to stay still for too long even if it made his legs hurt the next day.

Jaime turned his attention back to the colors in the sky and Cersei close to him. People sat all over the bailey but no one was near them. In the darkness he tipped Cersei’s face to his and kissed her softly and felt her smile against his mouth. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Cersei whispered, reaching to cup his cheek and draw his face down to kiss him again, this time longer but soft and sweet. She turned her eyes back to the sky again but sighed in contentment when she felt Jaime wrap his arm around her shoulders and she leaned in against him.

Jaime reached into the cooler for an orange popsicle which was his favorite and, without even needing to ask, gave Cersei a cherry one. She pulled down the paper and licked the treat while they kept watching the display above them.

Jaime loved nights like this. He had Cersei all to himself and no one paid them a bit of mind, was even anywhere near them. Most everyone had moved much closer to the beach to see the ground displays, but wordlessly they’d decided they were comfortable enough that neither particularly had a desire to move — or give up their privacy — to go down with the others. They sat wordlessly without need for conversation, simply feeling each other’s warmth and closeness, and Jaime couldn’t say how long passed. It was never long enough. He always wanted more of Cersei.

He tossed his popsicle stick in its wrapped back in the cooler to be dealt with later. He turned back to Cersei to do the same with hers and caught her face upturned. His mouth met hers and her popsicle stick went in the grass as his mouth closed over hers. He could smell the salt of the sea in her hair and taste the cherry on her lips and tongue.

When Jaime pulled back to ensure that no one was near them, Cersei grasped the back of his neck and pulled his face back to hers. “More.”

That was what she always said. And Jaime always complied without hesitation.

This time he took her hand and gave her a light tug as they crawled back into the tent, into its black depths. The mood shed light through the door flap which Jaime had left partially undone. When the fireworks exploded, it lit their skin and cast orange, red, and golden dancing lights on their skin.

Jaime was still on his knees in the center of the tent when Cersei reached him. She crawled to him on her hands and knees and then leaned up, pressing warmly against him with her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair and her other hand pressing against his spine. Her skin was so warm beneath his hands and felt so soft. He had one arm wrapped around her too and his other hand was sliding along her ribs.

Cersei shifted and suddenly Jaime felt her bikini top slide between them and her breasts pressed against his bare chest. It caused both of them to gasp into their the kiss and her fingers to tighten in his hair. Cersei pressed herself up against him more. Perhaps to feel the more defined muscles he was getting thanks to his fencing and swordsmanship lessons. She liked those. It made Jaime proud. If he slept in just pajama pants she would often explore the planes of those muscles with her hands.

They had kissed and touched before, but something was _different_ this time. There was a different intensity of their mouths and tongues and touches. He had long gotten hard against her stomach and a proud thrill filled him when Cersei pressed closer, feeling him against her.

When their lips finally tore apart for them to gasp air and pant breathlessly, Cersei gasped out,

“More.”

Jaime looked down to catch a glimpse of her green eyes. There was an intensity in them that made him shudder. “You’re sure?”

Her eyes held the answer he needed, so he dropped his hands to the waist of her shorts. His hands were a little shaky as he undid them, which surprised him. He _was_ a little nervous, but certainly not enough to delay him as Cersei’s shorts dropped around her hips and his hands followed the curve of her back down over her bikini bottoms. Then his hand moved over her bare hip and up her stomach. Her nipples had hardened against his chest. He had felt her not incredibly unlike this before, but this was an intensity, a certainty, an _intention_ that was new.

His mouth caught her moan as he caressed the curve of her breast. Her fingers slid along his stomach and then gave him a gentle push backward. He tumbled onto his back with a slight bounce on the soft trampoline that unbalanced Cersei and sent her falling onto his chest and she smothered her giggle into his skin and his face pressed into her hair and then he began pressing kisses along the line of her jaw and down to her collar bone as he craned his neck up and nosed the sand dollar aside to press kisses between her small breasts. Cersei shifted so her legs straddled his waist and leaned over him as he softly covered and caressed her. Her back arched and her whole body shuddered when he touched her. His lips worked over her arm and her shoulder, tasting the salt on her skin.

Cersei shifted her hands between them and worked his swim trunks loose from his hips. He lifted them to help her, shuddering slightly as air brushed his completely bare skin. He was not able to completely stifle a moan when Cersei wrapped her hand around him, holding his length in her hand and curiously stroking his balls with a manicured thumb. He hoped she was pleased but couldn’t seem to remember how to actually form words to ask her. She must be because she made a pleased sound.

“Cers… Oh Gods…” He wasn’t going to be able to take much of that. Her hand felt so much more potent stroking him than his ever did now that he’d started to try that — always thinking of her, imagining her doing it, and now she actually was.

“Touch me too,” she breathed, tugging at the knot in her bikini bottoms until it fell away.

Jaime hardly needed an invitation as his fingers slipped between them, replacing hers. His hands were unpracticed, but he watched her expression carefully when he parted her folds and brushed his thumb and fingers between them through a sticky wetness that coated hr skin. Cersei braced her hands on his shoulders, her body shuddering slightly. He was attentive and gentle with his touches, taking his time until he discovered how to stroke her in a place that seemed most sensitive.

She was panting hard. “I… Jaime…” she moaned his name softly as he explored slipping a finger inside her. Oh. Fuck. He had to force himself _not_ to imagine what it would feel like when it was not his finger. Especially because her hands traced hot patterns on his skin and her lips came against his and they kissed. Cersei’s back arched like the lion she was and began rocking against him. That much they had done. Jaime’s fingers fell away and he wrapped his hands around her hips, steadying her as they pressed against each other.

Now it was his turn to want to beg. Before, the times they’d done this, they had pajamas on. Now there was nothing separating them. Her heat was intense.

He looked at her one more time and she met his green eyed gaze firmly. His breath caught and rushed and caught as he turned Cersei onto her back so he was above her now. It took some fumbling, especially with the slight bounce of the trampoline under them when they moved and because the light was limited. And, perhaps he didn’t want to admit it, but nerves too. Jaime didn’t want to hurt her even though he knew it could hurt the first time if you weren’t careful. He heard things from the guys at fencing. And he didn’t want to hurt Cersei, ever.

He also had to press harder than he would have expected. He felt like if they weren’t so close, if they weren’t already one anyway, this might have been awkward but it wasn’t. They were too much each other’s to ever feel awkward with each other. He could not remember a single time they ever had actually.

And then they were together. Everything in his body screamed at him to move against her. He dug his fingers into the pillows to keep from it. Cersei’s eyes were closed and she was breathing shallowly. Her golden lashes swept the skin of her cheeks and she was biting her lip slightly in concentration.

It surprised him when Cersei was the first to move. When she did, it caused a warm, delicious sensation to steal all through him. He moved back against her. They had figured out how to move against each other with clothes on, so he tested the same motion he used then. It worked.

Fireworks burst in the air high above them, masking the sounds of their gasps and moans — if anyone had even been close to hear, which they weren’t. Jaime could feel the building tension in his lower stomach that now accompanied any time he touched himself and thought of her. “Mm…” Cersei moaned softly, a good sound. A sound he loved. A sound he wanted to hear a thousand times over.

A sound that, combined with her tight heat and their movements, undid him faster than he ever would have expected — barely a fraction of the time he could last if it was just him imagining her. He was panting hard and so was Cersei when he rolled onto his back and she followed him, snuggling against him. He held her close, sliding his fingers in hers and his other arm around her. “You okay?”

“Of course. I’m with you,” she said softly, tipping her face up to meet his eyes. He kissed her softly. He was surprisingly sleepy there with her warmth cuddled in his arms. How much her loved her and would always want her swirled languidly about his mind as he felt himself drifting into sleep with Cersei held safely against him. “I love you, Jaime,” she murmured.

“Nothing will ever take me from you,” Jaime whispered in the last moments before sleep claimed him.

* * *

**22 nd Old Moon, 2020**

Jaime walked into his flat wringing wet with sweat and very much ready for a shower after two hard workouts that day. But he’d needed them. He needed to keep his body busy because otherwise he would go insane. He’d been thinking about Cersei endlessly all day; he’d been thinking about all the memories they’d made together.

It hadn’t helped when he’d dug around in his dresser to find some boxers for after the shower and came out with a pair of Cersei’s panties. Likely, she had so many pairs she wasn’t missing them. He’d snitched them from her pile of clothes the last time they had been at home together before Tywin sent them off to separate schools. That night, those panties had been absolutely soaking wet by the time he took them off. Needless to say, now they were dry but somehow they still smelled of her scent. The scent of her was still on them though. He was not ashamed to admit what he’d done with them. Repeatedly. In fact, just looking at them was enough to make him start to get hard. ‘You’re seriously no better than the green boy you were at eleven.’ He thought, looking down at his hardening cock. ‘Getting a bloody hard on just from looking at underwear Cersei wore a year and a half ago. Gods. That’s worse than a green boy.’

He stuffed the underwear back in the drawer and flipped the tap on the shower and let it warm up a little before stepping in. Unable to stop thinking about Cersei and with his body refusing to cooperate, he gave in and pleasured himself, all the while thinking about the fact that soon it would be her hand. _Or her mouth_. The latter thought in itself made his head race. It was, par for the course of the day, embarrassingly short. Perhaps it was a good thing he’d taken care of it. He wanted to not made a fool of himself for their first time in a year and a half apart.

Finally, he soaped himself off, washed his hair, and turned off the tap just as he suspected the water was starting to chill a bit.He walked out of the shower trailing water as he wrapped a towel turban style around his hair. He had always kept it long. Cersei liked it that way, and he liked what Cersei liked.

Finally, with his hair done up and with no other options to keep himself busy, he decided to start packing with purpose. Once he got started, it wasn’t actually that hard and he was a pretty efficient packer since he’d been all over the place for fencing competitions since junior high. He just had never flown to one, but he found out that he just needed to declare his fencing gear and they’d tag it and stow it with his luggage. Easy enough. Plus, thinking of how much he wanted to see Cersei made quicker work of his bags.

Eventually, he finished and took his bags and set them by the door. His flight didn’t even leave until late the next night, but the task was done.

And then there was nothing left to do.

He sat down on the sofa and flicked on Hulu turning on some show. He didn’t even really know what he’d turned on other than that it was True Crime of some sort. He didn’t really care. It was just something to keep him halfway distracted. Now, with absolutely nothing else left to do before he went to meet Cersei, he was feeling more and more at loose ends and almost strangled in a way. The desperation to see her and the horrible feelings in his gut that had accumulated there over the last 18 months were starting to spill over.

Being away from Cersei had never been a good thing. It destroyed him every time.

Somehow Jaime found himself dozing on the couch, unaware he was slipping in and out of sleep only that he knew they were apart. This wasn’t the first or the hardest time they’d been apart. That was when she’d been taken away. But that didn’t make this any better or more pleasant.

“The night she was taken away was the worst night of my life.”

* * *

**11 th Hunter’s Moon, 2014**

Jaime came in the door sweaty and still breathing a little hard from fencing practice. He badly needed a shower, that much he knew. His clothes had been wringing wet with sweat and then had started to dry on the walk home. He was just closing the door behind him when he heard a sound that made his blood feel as if it was turning to ice in his veins. It was Cersei. It was Cersei screaming.

Cersei’s voice was a terrified, high-pitched, keening note that frightened Jaime and ripped a physical pain in his chest. It was something that had always happened to them. If Cersei hurt, then he hurt and vice versa. “NO! I WON’T! STAY AWAY FROM ME!” Cersei shrieked.

“Cers!?” And when she didn’t answer Jaime began to run down the hallway “Cersei!?” His voice belied a hint of panic now.

“JAIME!” Cersei screamed.

He surveyed the scene before him. Cersei was disheveled, her hair a mess. Her cheeks were blotchy from tears, her eyes red, her chest heaving. In addition to Cersei, there was Aunt Genna, who refused to look at any of them but was present, her eyes on the floor. There was a woman and a man in uniforms that looked something like police but he didn’t see any guns on them and they didn’t wear police hats. Most concerning to him was that they were holding Cersei by both arms as she struggled to get away, flailing as best she was able, but they were holding too tight.

“Cersei!?”

And then Cersei lifted her foot and kicked the man directly in the balls with such force that Jaime winced. The man let out a grunt and went to the floor. Cersei took her chance and wrenched away from her surprised second captor. Instantly, she was across the room to the doorway and fled into Jaime’s arms. The way she held him was so tight it physically hurt, but he didn’t care. “Don’t let them take me! Please don’t let them take me! Jaime! I love you and I’ll never stop loving you! Please!” Cersei’s cries were heart-rending. He had never seen her so upset. His arms locked around her like a steel cage.

The man was still on the ground though was sitting up now. The woman was advancing on them and Jaime quickly shifted so Cersei was behind him. “What is the meaning of this!?” Jaime demanded. His voice was like stone. It belied a danger warning. The tone of it even made Aunt Genna look up. Her eyes were red too, but she wasn’t crying.

“You must be Jaime,” the woman said, moving closer.

“Stay back! I don’t want to hurt you,” Jaime warned, backing up and backing Cersei with him. She was clinging to him so hard he knew her fingers would be white if he could see them

“Calm down, Jaime. I’m Myla and this is Alvyn. We’re from the Youth Transport Team. We’re just here to make sure your sister gets to the facility without harming herself or others.”

Jaime could feel Cersei’s body shaking hard in terror behind him. “I don’t want to go with them! I’m not going with them! I won’t!” Her words were almost intelligible due to her sobs.

“What are you talking about? Cersei is not going _anywhere_ with you.”

Genna sighed and stepped forward. “Jaime, your sister needs help. The two of you… need to be apart for now. The behaviors you are engaged in are… well… it’s… a disease.”

Jaime felt like a rock had hit him in the gut. They knew. Somehow they’d found out.

“Cersei is fine. There is nothing wrong with her, and she is not going anywhere,” Jaime stated firmly, trying to keep himself calm. He couldn’t do anything for his twin if he got panicked or let his anger get out of control. Cersei was still shaking behind his back and holding him so tight there would be bruises. He barely noticed that though.

“Jaime. This… cannot be allowed to continue. Cersei needs to get help and you need to turn your mind to other matters so you won’t be tempted to engage in such behaviors with her. There is a very successful residential treatment program who can help teenagers with… with…” Genna had never actually said the word ‘sex’ in front of her niece and nephew before tonight. “With… sexual dysfunctions like this. The treatment program uses a gentle process called conversion therapy to help afflicted teens learn to think and behave in natural and healthy ways. Myla and Alvyn only want to help your sister reach her treatment facility without her getting hurt.”

Jaime’s head was spinning: conversion therapy, treatment program, residential. He wanted to scream that there was nothing wrong with Cersei, that there was nothing wrong with him either, but stopped the words. If they got of a mind to take him away too, there would be no way for him to help Cersei. “Father, he’ll never allow this.” But Jaime’s voice was shaking.

Aunt Genna turned to him. She had started to cry a little now. “Jaime, he called them. He had to sign temporary guardianship papers over to the facility. They have the legal right to take Cersei to treatment and are going to do so.”

“What?” Jaime’s voice was shaky and Cersei was sobbing against his back with her arms tight around him still. “What does that… mean…?”

“That for right now, these people have the legal right to take Cersei to treatment and keep her there since she is a minor and so are you. Jaime, you need to let them do their job now. This is hard enough on all of us.”

“How long is she going to be gone for?” Jaime asked, panic tinging his voice and desperation too.

“Until her therapy is successful. That could take… three weeks, three months, three years,” Myla said in a voice that was so calm Jaime wanted to punch her in the mouth for it. Jaime had rarely been so enraged he wanted to purposefully injure another human being, but he was now. He was shaking with the effort of not leaping and tackling the slim woman to the ground and hitting her.

Jaime turned and wrapped Cersei against his chest. He held her tight. He pressed his forehead to hers, trying to keep tears that were pricking at the backs of his eyes from spilling onto his face. Cersei was a mess. Gently, he lifted his thumb to brush the tears from her cheeks and the snot from her nose and mouth. “Shh,” he breathed and then moved as if he was just hugging her until he could whisper into her ear.

“I will get you back. If I have to, I’ll kill them, the whole bloody lot of them, until you and I are the only people left in this world.”

And then Cersei was wrenched out of his grasp and forced outside and down into the inner bailey to the big, black SUV with tinted windows that sat outside. They were holding her wrists tightly to keep her from escaping as they manhandled her down the stairs and into the car where Jaime heard the locks engage.

Jaime only turned back to Genna when Cersei was out of sight. Now, Tywin was there too. And then Jaime stared at him. He stared at him as cold and hard as his eyes had ever been before — as cold as Tywin’s gaze could be in every way. Genna went to touch his shoulder and he shook her off harder than he needed to.

“Don’t touch me,” Jaime spat at her, venom in his voice though his eyes never blinked, never looked away from his father. “You didn’t even watch them take her, didn’t watch what you did because you were too much a coward to see her leave with them! You godsdamned son of a bitch!” because Jaime knew that was what would hurt most. Tywin had been fond of his mother. “Fuck you and may the Others take you!”

Jaime turned on his heel and went up the stairs to his room. He locked his door and threw himself on his bed. He buried his head under the pillow and his mouth inside it as he let out a scream of anguish and then another. And then he muffled the sounds of sobs so hard they wracked his body.

He had no idea how long they lasted.

* * *

**23 rd Old Moon, 2020**

Jaime woke up screaming.

It took him several seconds of clawing his fingers into the couch to ground himself and breathing very hard and fast and looking around in a panic to recognize, very slowly, that it was not his childhood room around him but rather the living room of his flat. The television had gone to showing landscape pictures on the screensaver, so it had clearly been hours.

Jaime groaned and looked at his watch. It was 3 AM. With only the television for light, it was dark in the living room, but he knew his way around well enough. He was covered with sweat. He went to the kitchen and splashed some cool water on his face while he still fought to catch his breath from the fucking nightmare. He didn’t know why he’d had it. It had been a long time, purposefully so, since he had thought about that night or the nine months Cersei had been gone. Months where he’d only gotten to have the occasional video chat with her and never in private.

He needed to see Cersei. He needed to see Cersei before the near middle of the night tomorrow which was when his flight was supposed to get in. He had to see her. He had to see her as soon as he could. Maybe it was just the dream freaking him out, but he needed to lay hands on her and hold her and smell her and kiss her and hear her voice. He needed things a video call would never give him.

Resolutely, he picked up his bags and took them out to his SUV.

He headed to the airport where he learned he could exchange his ticket for a flight that would get him to Braavos by early evening the next day. It would be a good few hours ahead of the flight he’d originally planned. He made the change without even having to think about it. Then, he took his carry on off to go through security and then wait in the lounge

And then there was nothing to do but wait. Nothing to do but miss Cersei. Nothing to do but try to keep the awful nightmare out of his head.

He tried to remind himself of better memories. But the nightmare seemed as if it was determined to stay stuck to him.

Jaime had known that it wouldn’t work, their ‘conversion therapy,’ and that no one could make them stop loving each other, but a kernel of doubt had spent those nine months spreading through his guts like some dreaded disease. And when she had come home, time together had been nearly impossible. Aunt Genna had become like some sort of watchdog, always keeping an eye on them, rarely even leaving them alone in the same room.

It was not the first time they had done something like this to be together, but before they’d been able to keep it secret. This time, there was no way Tywin wouldn’t find out. Jaime had specifically not told his father of his plans to study abroad — easy enough studying in Oldtown and away from Casterly Rock. But he’d find out.

Jaime thought about the time he hadn’t. Cersei had been home since the first week of July and it neared their birthday at the end of the month and they still had not been able to get a scrap of time alone together. Cersei had gone on an art and literature trip for her birthday present — visiting the settings of novels and painting there. Jaime had ‘gone’ ostensibly to a fencing camp but then ditched. By then, the class was painting the coasts along Eastern Westeros near Shipbreaker Bay.

Jaime still remembered how he had pulled off one of his biggest coups of all time. He persuaded the lighthouse keeper to let them have, for one night, the quarters in the lighthouse. Now, in the modern day, it was automated so the keeper was more of a castellan than anything — just doing whatever tasks the computer programs couldn’t manage. Jaime had pulled a pallet up to the observatory but out of the way of the light. So they would be able to watch the waves. He’d snuck Cersei out. She had cried and held him. And they had rededicated themselves to each other and renewed their love in a secret tryst in the top of the lighthouse. It was probably one of the best times they’d ever had together. After being apart with so many uncertainties…

This time apart had been longer but less abjectly terrifying. Jaime knew even when it started they were both of age. If the absolute worst happened… They could run and Tywin couldn’t drag them back. It would be unpleasant to cut all ties with family and be disowned, but it would be better than losing his soulmate, his twin, his sister, his lover, his _everything_. There was control now even if the choice would be unpleasant. That had not been the case when they were 14. Nonetheless, Jaime had a feeling that the sex was going to maybe be just as good as that night in the lighthouse.

But it wasn’t just sex he was looking forward to. He was looking forward to just _being_ with her: to be able to hold her and hug her and tell her he loved her and hear the words back against his chest rather than through a phone screen.

He let out a sigh of relief when they called for boarding at last. He pulled together his carry on and headed across the walkway to find his seat. Truthfully, he thought he had never been more relieved when the plane shuddered to life under them. The lifting feeling during takeoff felt like his soul was free in some way it had not been in an extremely long time.

He was going to Cersei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: At long last, Jaime and cersei are reunited in Braavos.


	4. I’ll Be Waiting; All There’s Left To Do is Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cersei awaits Jaime's arrival in Braavos and seeks advice from someone who might understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, 
> 
> I’m so sorry it’s taken months for this update. Being an essential worker during this time is draining. But finally I’ve got this chapter for you and another half one written. Then I’ll shift back and write a chapter for King of Winter (so don’t worry that’s in the works too!) 
> 
> Here are just some notes:
> 
>   * We’ll be switching to 24 hour time as is done in Europe now that Cersei and Jaime are in Braavos, so look out for that.
>   * Cersei finally sees their home in Italy. I modeled it off of some pictures I found and you can see my concept images [Here](https://nickpic.host/album/italian-appartment.lhUp1)
>   * Later in the story, Cersei visits what we know in our world as Juliet’s wall where people go to leave letters to Juliet and a group of women known as Juliet’s secretaries collect the letters and write back to each one. I’ve mimicked that in an Essosi format. This uses a group of people GRRM gave the framework for. The tale is my own, but all the framework for it is GRRM’s creation and the moonsingers can be searched on the Wiki of Ice and Fire.
>   * The chapter title for this came from Taylor Swift’s "Love Story."
>   * A couple of new songs are added to the playlist — in bold as always. 
>   * Some other playlist songs that are great for this chapter other than Love Story include: "Burning Up", "Lonely Weekend", "All I Need, I’m Alive", "Fever", "Renegades", "Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)", "I Was Made for Loving You", "Heaven Is a Place On Earth", and "Keep Holding On".
>   * Thank you for all the new comments! Here’s to: Emmapemma_98, LionessOnTheThrone, Carol_Jones, Highflyer, Skysamuelle, LannicestisBest, Missdarkquinn, Mary, Lea_Mag, and sum1cool.
> 


**24 th Old Moon, 2020**

> ## Shae
> 
> Cersei
>     We’re taxiing in now. Then customs. You’re still good to meet me?6:30
> 
> Shae
>     Yep. I don’t show anything until later this afternoon. Plus, I want to see your reaction to the flat.6:32
> 
> Cersei
>     Ok. Let’s meet at baggage claim then.6:33
> 
> Shae
>     I’m on my way to the airport now. I even got your venti caramel macchiato, too. Nice and hot.6:35
> 
> Cersei
>     I could kiss you and we haven’t even met. I’ll see you soon. I hope.6:37

Cersei stood up as the plane’s taxi finally came to a stop. She reached for her bag and put away her precious new book and her AirPods and stuffed her iPhone in her jeans pocket. It didn’t really fit there well but it’d do for now. Girl jean problems; seriously. She got out her wristlet so she’d be ready with her passport and then zipped the case and pulled it down.

Fortunately, going through customs was relatively painless this morning. “Va Brāvo jemī jiōran,” the customs agent welcomed her to Braavos in High Valyrian.

Braavosi was a dialect of low Valyrian so the two were somewhat mutually intelligible. Of course, Tywin had ensured Cersei and her siblings spoke perfect High Valyrian as was expected of anyone who mattered. However, Cersei had made it a point to try to learn the Braavosi dialect since she had decided to study abroad there and she greeted the customs agent back in that and explained, while the agent looked over her paperwork, that she had come to study abroad. After having wished her good luck, the agent waved her through with ease.

With her passport stamped and her bag over her shoulder, Cersei headed to baggage claim. She mostly identified Shae by the two inviting looking Starbucks cups in her hands. Cersei went to her. “Shae, right?”

“Guilty as charged. It’s good to meet you finally!” Shae handed Cersei her macchiato freeing one of her hands so she could shake hands with Cersei and greet her properly. The two had been talking through WhatsApp, which seemed to be what people in this part of the world used more than text message, ever since Cersei had contacted her agency to help find them a lease on a flat for the half a year they’d be there. (‘And I want it to be impressive.’) Cersei had stipulated. (‘Preferably in a gated community.’)

Cersei did not want to believe Tywin would come there or send Red Cloaks, but, still, she wasn’t going to underestimate Tywin Lannister. After all, he’d sent her to fucking conversion therapy in a residential treatment program. Who knew what he’d do when he did eventually figure out Jaime was also studying abroad and in Braavos. It’d take him about 30 seconds to put those pieces together and then he’d be furious. Cersei was past the point of caring.

Taking the coffee, Cersei took a long drink and breathed a sigh of relief. She had traveled enough to know that giving in to jet lag was never a good idea. One had to do their best to just roll with the new time. Besides, she was so excited about seeing Jaime she wasn’t sure she’d have been able to get back to sleep anyway if she’d wanted. Nonetheless, she was a little tired and the coffee helped give her a shot of energy.

The airport was chilly but it was delightfully warm when they got outside after picking up Cersei’s luggage. Yeah, she could definitely get used to this. It was like mid-summer back home here. It felt like shorts and skirt weather, which suited Cersei just fine.

The sun was brilliant sparkling above them as they walked to catch the metro sipping their coffees and dragging Cersei’s luggage along. Both were glad the suitcases were wheeled. It only took a few minutes to reach the metro. That was so odd to Cersei and was going to take getting used to. In Braavos, not a whole lot of people — especially young people — drove. They got around with buses, the metro, taxis, Uber, and a conglomeration of said options most of the time. “Or, if you’re especially cool, you have a vespa,” Shae said, grinning. They got Cersei a metro card and were soon zipping along to the nearest stop to the flat, which Shae explained was only about a ten minute metro ride from Braavos U. Handy!

“On Monday when you go to campus you should be able to meet your referent then.”

“We have a plan to meet at the Starbucks on campus. She’s been WhatsApping me.”

“That’s excellent! Is she nice?”

“So far.” Cersei’s preppy liberal arts college and, indeed, growing up in the Lannister family’s political intrigues had taught her long ago that people could be ‘nice’ at face value but that didn’t mean they actually were. Thus far, Cersei had learned that her referent’s name was Dany, that she was a poly sci major as well as class president, and that she had three (huge) dogs. She had sent all sorts of pictures of the dogs already and not any of herself — trust a dog lover. Cersei would have to ask her for a picture of herself so she could recognize Dany without looking like an idiot come Monday morning. But that could be dealt with later. For the present moment, she was excited to see the flat Shae had found and helped them with the contracts for.

Having left the metro and once again out in the sun, Cersei soon found herself in a residential neighborhood. It was perhaps the quintessential definition of Braavos really. There were narrow cobbled streets with tight tucked cars parked the ‘wrong way’ and with far more accuracy at parallel parking than Cersei could’ve achieved on her best day. Along each side of the street there were tall, narrow row houses. They were pastel orange, yellow, and peach stucco with traditional tile roofs. The windows had flower boxes and airy white curtains. She realized instead of a flat proper, each home was a rowhouse — though usually in Essos they were called terrace houses. Each was self contained though were connected and shared a courtyard.

This definitely wasn’t a college neighborhood, but Cersei hadn’t wanted that, so that was good. She wanted something nice. And something protected in case their father decided to interfere. She pushed the thought from her mind and paused as she did. They had come upon a place in the row house where there was a giant gate both decorative and strong, its wrought iron swirling in patterns and rising well above their heads. Beside the gate, there was a call box. Shae handed Cersei a white keycard. “These are specially programmed. Each keycard opens the main gate but will only open the house to which it is programmed.”

“That’s clever,” Cersei said, sliding the extra keycard for Jaime into her wristlet and taking her own so she could experiment with letting them in. Sure enough, when she held the keycard to the reader, the gate slid back slowly to emit her.

“You can either put the card to the inside panel here to close the gate, or it slides closed on its own in a couple of minutes,” Shae explained and then led Cersei through a small, but beautifully landscaped courtyard. There was an orange tree planted in a little round slightly raised circular space lined with brick. The oranges looked like they were coming ripe soon. She could guess that the people in the complex shared them. Flowers bloomed along the sidewalk and a burbling fountain with koi darting this way and that and a little bridge over it took up a corner of the courtyard. There were a couple of tables in the shade of larger trees — no doubt for picnicking and the like, though Cersei noticed that though they were marble, they had cyvasse boards wrought into them with gems and tiles. The pieces, she guessed, must be in the drawers beneath the tables. That was clever really! There was a hammock chair large enough to put one’s feet up in hanging from one strong branch of the tree. She could see herself there reading. At least a nice place to read made her literature major slightly less hideous.

She and Shae walked upstairs together at the front of the row house that Cersei would be renting. Cersei let them in ease. “As I’ve mentioned, the house has three stories, a mezzanine, and roof space.” That was how these houses were, tiny floors stacked one top of the other. Since the houses had no room to spread to the side, they spread up. “There is a section of the house below the ground level that has a swimming pool, jacuzzi combined Turkish bath, and a sauna.”

Cersei was staring in wonder at the entrance to the ground level there was a separate wrought iron gate to key into. This let them into the ground level hall. It had soaring, arched ceilings and the same stucco walls of creamy-tan. Along one side was a floor to ceiling wardrobe type item that also looked like narrow kitchen cabinets and drawers with labels in high Valyrian beneath. Reading some of the labels, Cersei realized the entry had been turned into a wine cellar. All vintages were there from wines to cook with to wines to enjoy with every kind of palate imaginable. “Illyrio has ensured it was well stocked for you,” Shae explained.

“Remind me to thank him,” Cersei mumbled, just continuing to stare in amazement as she crossed the entrance way to the door actually leading into the house. The keycard lit green for a second and the lock matched and Cersei pushed open the door.

She wasn’t sure what she had expected, in truth, but it was not this. The house was done in intensely ‘modern’ decor tones that she somehow fell in love with immediately. It was nothing like the old, almost medieval style of Casterly Rock’s Keep. It was different, almost as if it represented their new beginning. “This is amazing! You could never tell it would be this way from outside.”

Shae couldn’t resist a grin. “That was his thought in designing it as such.”

“I already love it,” Cersei admitted, staring wide eyed.

“Shall I show you around?” Shae offered.

“Yes please!”

The first room they walked into was spilling with light and Cersei realized it had slanted windows on one side of the ceiling to let in the light. How that had managed to be done architecturally she could never be sure, only that it was and that the natural light spilling in from the perfect Braavosi afternoon made her happy. The room itself was a pristine white color with deep colored wooden floors. To one side was an exceptionally comfy looking couch — an L shape — made of grey suede, and grey, white, and black beanbags of a giant size. A huge flat screen television was mounted into the wall with speakers. Beneath it was a long, low set of wide shelves with every video game system imaginable as well as the controls for the television. A frankly insanely large collection of video games, blu-rays, and board games completely filled a giant glass, floating bookshelf along the wall by the television. By the remotes was a paper she could tell had all the instructions and passwords. At the other side of the room there was a big round table with a half oval light with a slight peach glow to it overhead — a huge one. Two steps led up into the kitchen alongside the table, but she didn’t explore there yet. Instead, she turned to walk and see the other corner of the main room. The room’s main lights were inset into the floor and there were three spherical 3D lights sitting together on the floor like some sort of ball to play with. The walls were lined with purple and blue abstract paintings and a purple-tone of a city at night — Myr maybe Cersei thought, looking closer.

A tiny hallway off the side led to stairs that were a tight spiral to take them to the next floor. A mezzanine existed between the two floors. The mezzanines were pure glass flooring and railing and Cersei thought it would take her a while to get used to walking on glass that she could see below herself. The mezzanine had a reading nook and a shelf of books tucked into its corner and the nook was built into the wall with a bench covered in pillows. She found it opened to reveal fleece blankets for use below them in the family room. It was directly over the family room, heading up and so she could look right down and see that room below her feet. It made her a little dizzy, actually. Definitely going to take some getting used to. Wooden stairs with silver railings were built into the wall, open on one side. One set led above the mezzanine and the other led down into the kitchen from the opposite side as the entry from the family room.

Cersei ventured down into the kitchen with Shae chattering and explaining all the features in the house. She was actually having trouble focusing as she was so taken with her new home. The kitchen had a window with a box of vegetables growing just outside and one of those hanging basket tomato planters. Cersei just hoped she’d manage to keep them alive. She’d never been any good at growing things. The surfaces in the kitchen were stainless steel with a giant amount of counter space in an L. Drawers bellow made of white wood held cooking implements, baking supplies, cooking supplies, Tupperware, dishes, and the like. Open shelves above the sink held every kitchen implement you could want: a blender, a chopper, a stand mixer, wine glasses, and a shocking amount of spices. There was a fancy looking dishwasher, a gigantic double door fridge, and a gas stove Cersei wasn’t sure she’d be brave enough to even touch. The far end of the mezzanine where the stairs were and away from the reading nook overlooked all of this. She had a vague daydream of standing on the mezzanine in her pajamas and watching Jaime cook breakfast, not realizing she was watching him. She shook her head to clear it of the day dream.

She headed downstairs again. The steps were white with little lights inset into the wall near ankle level and turned twice in a perfect square. She realized they were in the undercroft as the ceiling was round above them and then came down in a half cylinder to meet the wood floor. The ceiling was all old brick — showing how old this house really was. The undercroft ran the entire length of the house to support what was above it. A decently sized pool was separated from a square jacuzzi only by a glass partition. She was pretty sure you could climb over from one side into the other with ease. A glass door across the wooden floor and inside into the opposite wall led to a sauna of wood with space for perhaps 7 or 8 people. It sloped a little, going with the ceiling, but it looked incredibly relaxing. There was a small bathroom surrounded by an old fashioned changing screen with towels, a toilet, and a sink, as well as a place to throw wet swimsuits and towels in a mesh laundry sorter. “The lights in the hot tub and pool have multiple color options and there are different settings for the jets,” Shae explained, pointing to the controls on the wall. “You don’t have to do anything to care for it. A pool worker comes every couple of weeks for the upkeep.” That was a relief. Cersei knew nothing about caring for pools — even less than she knew about cooking.

Cersei went back up to the mezzanine and up the inset stairs to the next level of the house. She realized this held a study the likes of which she’d never seen. Working on homework actually might not be that painful if she was doing it here. Admittedly, she also thought about brushing everything off the desk and having her way with Jaime atop it. She had to curtail that thought from her mind immediately. The entire room was painted deep grey with a wall full of black open bookshelves in ridiculous modern shapes along one wall. A gigantic mac was set up at a corner desk. The room had neon lights of chemical symbols along the other wall and a floor pallet with pillows and a telescope positioned to look out the small window. There was even a whole Bose sound system. There was also a _second_ set up for video games.

Another floor up was the guest bedroom and one full bathroom that Cersei didn’t pay a lot of heed to. After all, it wasn’t like they’d be using it. Another mezzanine, this one just filled with art pieces along the hallway sides and all sorts of more abstract paintings. Finally, the fourth floor and the bedroom she knew she and Jaime would share. It did not disappoint. The walls were a light grey with plenty of room to decorate. The bed was huge with a wooden frame. A window let in light though, just like the other windows in the house, it was small. The sheets on the big bed were silk, she realized. A print of a love poem was above the bed’s headboard. Controls on the wall managed a ceiling fan, the lights, and a television that literally rose up out of the bed’s footboard.

A loft above them with more of the same wooden inset steps gave the space for a mezzanine that rose up to the master bath. A black marble wall shot through with white blocked it off from view from the room below, though it did have a glass door. A giant circular white soaking sub — again with jets — took up most of the wooden floored space in the bathroom. There was a floating shelf with towels and all manner of shampoo, soaps, conditioners, etc. Beside the bath was a traditional walk in Braavosi shower, flush with the floor and three sides made up of the black marble and the fourth side open but the multiple shower heads turned so as not to get water on the floor. In the far corner there was a large marble bench that would be nice to sit on (or fuck on, her mind said) and let the water pound her back while she shaved. Since the bathroom was situated in a loft, the toilet and sink were in the same space even though generally they’d be separate in Essos. Used to Westerosi custom, though, Cersei didn’t care.

Back out of the bedroom there was yet another mezzanine leading to a wooden floor again. There was a giant plant in the corner, green and fresh and light came through a glass door casting dapples on the floor and plant. The door, Cersei learned, led out to a space on the roof for hanging out. A big metal frame was draped with a huge white cover. There was an outdoor table, a hammock, white modern type chairs for the table, and an outside wet bar and even a grilling area. Plants in boxes were all over, surrounding the white-roofed pavilion. This would be amazing for entertaining, Cersei thought, if they wound up having friends here close enough she wanted to invite them.

“What do you think?” Shae asked.

“It’s amazing! You chose well,” Cersei said, still marveling. She had to admit she was impressed.

“It’s my pleasure. You know how to get ahold of me and you also have Illyrio’s contact should anything arise that you need either of us.”

Cersei nodded. “Thank you for all of your help.”

Shae helped Cersei drag her luggage all up to the master bedroom before she left Cersei on her own to settle in with a, “Just message if you need anything.”

At first, Cersei started to hang up her clothes and such but then decided it was far too nice a day not to be outside. Besides, she had an idea of what she wanted to do before Jaime’s plane got in. Unpacking could happen later.

She did make it a point to turn down the bed for them and leave some candles. There was a salt lamp on the beside table and she turned it on. She put matches near the candles but, of course, didn’t light them. She put out some massage oil and even sprinkled the bed with rose petals. And in the bathroom she put the underwear she intended on wearing. She didn’t want to have to take time while he waited downstairs to change into lingerie, so she had decided just to wear a sexy bra and thong. They didn’t start school until Monday and had all weekend. Lingerie could come tomorrow, she decided.

Cersei went into the shower and cleaned up. She shaved, washed her hair, and felt a thousand times better. Flying always made her feel a little gross, honestly. Cersei left her hair down to dry naturally, while she looked through her suitcase. She knew what she wanted to wear and was glad she found the black sundress with tiny pinpoint white dots and yellow flowers spreading across. She would top it with a white denim bolero jacket. Beneath, of course, there was a lacy black demi-cup bra and thong.

She decided to wait for her hair to dry more and scavenge the kitchen for some food before dressing and padded back to the kitchen. Upon opening the cupboards and refrigerator, she found that the kitchen had been stocked with a positive dearth of food. There was everything Cersei had requested Shae get as well as plenty of other things thrown in. Cersei ate a banana and some yogurt at the kitchen island and looked around a little bit more.

She got out her MacBook Air and connected it to the wifi, leaving it on the table in the family room and did the same with her iPad. Fortunately, it appeared her phone still had 60% charge, which was good as she didn’t want to wait around for it to charge now that she’d decided what to do for the day. She turned on the television and flicked through the offerings before clicking through her lists on both Netflix and Hulu, not wanting to watch anything but just pleased to see that most of the things she had in her list were still available across the Narrow Sea.

Finally she decided her hair had dried enough and went back upstairs to get dressed in the clothes she’d picked. Cersei slipped her feet into black strap wedge sandals. She checked that she had all she needed in her wristlet and set out, already loving that the key card system meant the door locked behind her when she exited.

First, she’d intended to walk, but when she got a map of the city from a roadside stand — because sometimes actually holding a map in hand was better than a cell phone for directions — she realized that Braavos was even larger geographically than she’d initially realized even during her studies of it while preparing for her SA. Cersei wasn’t as good at thinking on her feet as Jaime might be, but she wasn’t bad at it and quickly had come up with a Plan B that was even better. After all, Braavos was famous for its Vespas was it not? Normally that sort of daring thing was left to Jaime, but being here seemed to have brought daring into Cersei’s soul. She was away, out from under Tywin’s thumb, and at least for the next six months, she could do as she pleased. So why not drive a Vespa. In fact, if she liked it, maybe she’d even buy one because why the seven hells not? She was making her decisions and living how she wanted to now.

Places to rent Vespas were not difficult to find. It didn’t take her long to quickly get directions to a Vespa rental just a few blocks away and head in that direction. She was given a helmet and a rundown on how to operate the scooter and the chance to drive around the parking area to get used to the controls before she paid and found herself the rental owner of a teal-blue vespa.

Soon, she was navigating the city with her helmet on and hair streaming behind her. Since she hadn’t thought to bring a hair tie, it was a good thing the helmet kept it out of her eyes. She was a little clumsy and awkward with the scooter, making it fairly obvious she wasn’t a native, but she was doing well enough. Her heart felt _free_ in a way she was not sure it ever had before as she sped down side streets that allowed her to gain a bit of speed and had less traffic once she felt more confident. Sometimes, she had to stop and check her map, but it didn’t bother her.

She was in search of a small stone home. As she reached the area, the tourist and local foot, vespa, bike and otherwise traffic began to pick up. Cersei generally hated her literature major, but there were a few occasions that it was helpful or she found something in it she liked. One of those was the legend of Roggo and Giulietta. The Essosi variant of Florian and Jonquil, Cersei had enjoyed the story during her world literature class the previous year. As a then-first year, it had made a big impact on her — another woman who, like her, had had to fight to be with the man she loved.

Fortunately, the place was not so busy. A woman dressed as Giulietta spoke with guests and offered paper to write letters which they then would put on the wall, offering left behind for Giulietta. While Cersei waited for her turn to take a piece of paper, she recounted the story in her mind while her fingers traced a plaque explaining it.

Giulietta had been a moonsinger, a priestess of the Jogos Nhai, themselves a band of nomad raiders of the Further East. Over time, the religion of the Jogos Nhai had spread over Essos and become one of the many recognized in Braavos as Jogos Nhai did not just exist in their own lands but had also been amongst the escaped slaves that founded the city of Braavos. Even today, each band is led by a war chief, a jhat, and a moonsinger — her taking the role of priestess, healer, and judge. However, what makes moonsingers singularly special is that many of them have the gift of prophecy.

Centuries before, a shipment of slaves of the Valyrian Freehold bound for Sothoryos had revolted. They managed to seize the ships transporting them and fled North toward the Free Cities. During their journey, they passed not so far from the Plains of the Jogos Nhai. A young girl, Giulietta had begun to experience visions, signifying it was time for her father to look for a match for her so she might join a tribe of her own and use the gifts as her own mother did in their tribe. And, in fact, there was a jhat quite interested in Giulietta to whom her father had betrothed her.

Then, Giulietta saw Roggo, the young slave who had been elected as the leader by casting lots after the revolt. Her father brought her away and prepared to move the camp, wishing his daughter to have nothing to do with mixing with a people so barbaric. Determined, Giulietta snuck away to see Roggo at the waters where they had moored for the evening. Here, welcomed onto the ship, she shared a prophecy with him that he and his people could find safe shelter in a lagoon behind a wall of pine-clad hills and sea stones prone to nightly fogs. Here, Roggo and his people could find safe passage sailing slowly through the lagoon in the night and not be seen by the dragonlords seeking them from aloft. It would bring them all the way to Braavos if they followed it.

In talking to Roggo, Giulietta was instantly captivated by him. Perhaps it was foolish, but they knew themselves to be in love and wished only to be both together and safe. Varied were the religions of those of Old Valyria and plenty were worshipped amongst Roggo’s freed men. Roggo himself believed in R’hllor. With him, was a nomadic Red Priest who saw also in his fires that the two were meant to be together. Also capable of visions, Giulietta found a deep respect in someone of a faith that had similar gifts to her own. And the Red Priest saw no reason the two should not be wed if they wished to be together. Sharing a religion or no, R’hllor’s word had been spoken in the flames. Soon enough both had promised to share their fire with each other when the night was dark and full of terrors and leapt over a ditch fire, and consummating their love as they sailed away from all Giulietta knew in search of the lagoon she had seen.

It is said that, some time later, with his people safe and settled in the Free Cities, Roggo and Giulietta decided to make their home in Braavos in a stone dwelling that, hundreds of years later, still stands. In that home they shared their love that lasted to the end of their lives, strong enough to withstand all the trials that should have made it fail.

Nowadays, women with both happy and sad stories and those seeking advice came to the home said to be that of Roggo and his Giulietta. They put letters on the walls by the thousands. Every few days the letters were collected by women who called themselves Giulietta’s handmaidens. Carefully, they hand-penned responses to each and every letter. Foolish legend or truth, Cersei felt compelled to write her own letter to Giulietta during her time here in Braavos.

She found a place to sit and began to write.

> Dear Giulietta,
> 
> I need your advice so very much. I do not know anyone else I can talk to because everyone in Westeros judges these things. It is less that way here because of House Targaryen and New Valyria but, still. No one truly understands, at least not anyone I can talk to. I am in love with someone forbidden to me.
> 
> You see, Giulietta, it is my twin; he is my other half, my Jaime whom I love. I have loved him and he has loved me from before our mother brought us into this world. We are two halves of one whole and have oft said that as we came into this world together, so shall we leave it together so strong is our bond. When we are not together, I feel as thought I cannot even breathe. The longer we are apart, the more my heart shatters, a piece at a time. Sometimes, I feel I am standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming and no one looks up.
> 
> Is this how you felt when your father forbade you to go to Roggo and you did anyway? Like no one understood much less cared? You see, my situation in some ways is not so much different from your own. My father has forbidden me to be with the man I love and we have had to run away together. I do not think he yet knows we are gone or the amount of text messages I would have received… well.
> 
> But he will know. And then I do not know what he may do. He is not a man who is said no to. He is not a man who fails to get his way. Ever. I fear what actions he may take. And I do not know how our family, messy as it already is, will react to this. They have done many things over the years to keep us from being together.
> 
> Adults we may be, college students now, but in many ways our father still manages to control us — such as paying for our university. These days, it is difficult to get a good job without formal secondary education. Maybe that is less so for Jaime — he wants to fence professionally. But I… I want to study political science. I want to see change. I want to see strong women fill positions of power within their own lives, their families, and within Westeros. It is said that we must be the change we wish to see in the world, is it not? I wish never to have a man control me or make decisions for my life again. I wish our country to have other strong women who want the same in positions of power alongside men as their equals.
> 
> I fear whether I shall have to choose, ripped apart once more, between Jaime, the education that will let me pursue what matters to me, and what little family I do have which is not much to speak of. While the decision would be a simple one, that does not mean it is one I wish to make, nor would the ramifications of that decision be easy ones I know.
> 
> Here, in Braavos, I feel the most free I have ever felt, and that is priceless. Mayhaps Roggo felt the same here? Yet, I also feel afraid for what will come both when my father learns of this and all the choices that will need to be made when we go home after this school term — maybe sooner. We have never been completely on our own in this world, and though I can be strong; I know I can; It would be so very difficult and frightening. I would not admit such foolish weakness to anyone but you, Giulietta, because I know you had a strong father and you must surely have felt the same fears I do now.
> 
> Have you any words of wisdom?
> 
> Thank you so much, sweet Giulietta
> 
> Cersei

Cersei finally finished the letter and, almost lovingly, placed it upon the wall. When she looked around, she realized it had gotten much later than she realized. Evening light was casting long shadows over the city square by the time she had got back with the Vespa. Before she could decide whether to get something to eat out or go back to the house, Cersei’s phone vibrated.

She pulled it out, brows knitting together in surprise when she saw the text. It was from Jaime, who should be in the air somewhere and not texting her. Though, perhaps he’d purchased wi-fi on the plane and it was coming through iMessage.

> ## Jaime
> 
> #####  **Today** , 17:37
> 
> Jaime
>     Are you in the main square?
> 
> Cersei
>     Yes, doing some sightseeing while I wait for you. Which, by the way, can you make the plane fly any faster? I just want to see you.
> 
> Jaime
>     I wish. Don’t go too far, k?
> 
> Cersei
>     Uh. Okay. I mean I’m safe. I haven’t felt unsafe all day long, but if it makes you feel better I can get some food here and wait for you and then come meet you at the airport?

But Jaime didn’t respond, which was a bit odd. The whole thing was odd, actually. Several minutes passed and then dragged into ten minutes before her phone vibrated again. Cersei had still been trying to work out the odd texts and hadn’t left the square proper.

This time there were only two words.

> #####  **Today** , 17:51
> 
> Jaime
>     Look up.

She did.

Cersei’s heart began to pound uncontrollably as an unadulterated joy pressed out every other emotion inside her. Across the square proper, only yards away, stood her twin. Jaime’s hair was shining like burnished gold where the setting sun hit it and his eyes were so bright she could see the emotion in them from the distance between them.

_Jaime._

And then she ran.


	5. The Rest of the World Was Black and White, but We Were In Screaming Color

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Cersei reunite in Braavos and recollect on the risks they've taken to be together both now and in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so glad to be back with another chapter for you!
> 
> Here are just some notes:
> 
>   * Don’t worry, I still didn’t forget King of Winter. The current events just tend to feed my muse for this strongly — I will try to do the next chapter update on it soon for those who are so patiently waiting on it and who waited for this chapter, thank you!
>   * Green Corn Moon is August in our months.
>   * There’s a pretty lengthy flashback during this chapter that details a visit to Planned Parenthood where young Cersei and Jaime go to get birth control. For that, I researched PP and took most of my info about questions and procedures from their website because I support accurate information! However, laws vary by state so definitely check with your local PP if you want to use their services. PP isn’t just for teens! People of any age can go an get great care!
>   * The chapter title for this came from Taylor Swift’s Out of the Woods. Other songs specifically meant for this chapter are: Breathless, Only the Good Die Young, Best Day of My Life, Stronger, Better Dig Two, Take Me Home Tonight, and Love Shack.
>   * Some other playlist songs that are great for this chapter other than Out of the Woods include: Breathless, Bad Case of Loving You / Doctor, Doctor, Only The Good Die Young, Live Like You Were Dying, Renegades, Best Day of My Life, Teenage Dream, and Take Me Home Tonight
>   * As always, thanks to Azdaema for letting me use her beautiful codes and beta-ing this chapter!
>   * Thanks to: 23112006, Mary, Lexie, Missdarkquinn for commenting last chapter! Comments feed my muse! 
> 


**24 th Old Moon 2020**

They reached each other at the same moment and Cersei threw herself into Jaime’s arms so hard that she knocked the breath out of them both and neither of them cared. Her hold around his shoulders was so hard it actually hurt, but he didn’t care as he picked her up and spun her around and around right there in the center of the courtyard not caring, not needing to care for the very first time, if anyone saw them or if anyone recognized them.

“I missed you so much!” Cersei’s face was buried against the place in his neck that was always hers and Jaime actually felt tears against his skin making him hold her closer. His own eyes pricked a bit as he squeezed Cersei against him. “Eighteen months,” she whispered.

“One week,” he managed, feeling his throat thicken. She’d been counting just like him.

“Four days.” She paused. “Give or take. With time zone crossing.”

Jaime couldn’t help but laugh as he pulled back and let her out of his arms long enough to frame her face and kiss her softly and then press his forehead against hers. He was vaguely aware of people clapping but he definitely did not care.

&&

Cersei and Jaime reached the gate of the flat complex together. She’d given him his keycard and he held it out for the scanner to read and the gate slid back. Each key card was coded — all opened the gate and then the single apartment the keycard owner lived in. It was the very newest technology, and it ensured no one who wasn’t meant to be there could just show up and get in. Jaime had insisted on some sort of security such as this being in place. With different majors, there wasn’t any way for Cersei and Jaime to be together literally every minute of every day, much as he’d have liked that. And when their lord father found out what they were on about, he would likely be more angry than they’d ever seen him. Jaime didn’t know what he would do, but he wanted to ensure Cersei was safely out of his reach. This gated and double carded system assured that safety.

Jaime had paid the Uber driver who brought him to meet Cersei a special fee to bring his baggage back here and leave it in the apartment office. Of course, he’d neglected to consider that it was after close and the office was dark and quiet. There would be no getting his luggage until the next day, but he was in far too good a mood to care. It was a better circumstance than if Cersei’s luggage had been trapped there. Even then, he wasn’t sure if Cersei would have minded for this once, at least for a few hours, distracted with him. Currently, there were more important things.

Jaime didn’t hesitate once he got the gate open and closed again behind him. He quickly swept Cersei into his arms as she gave a little shriek of surprise, her arms instinctually tightening around his neck. “Jaime? What are you…?”

He cut off her words with a kiss that made Cersei’s head spin already and his tongue wasn’t even involved. He held her there, safely in his arms, kissing her for a minute or so before he pulled away regretfully. “It’s home for half a year isn’t it? And as such there are traditions to uphold.”

Cersei understood then what he meant and couldn’t help but laugh. “So you’re going to carry me inside?”

“Sure am,” he responded, heading down the hallway that connected the courtyard to the building proper and then into the undercroft which had been turned into a beautiful hallway with softly glowing lights and a ‘take a bottle, replace a bottle’ wine rack that was pretty genius if Jaime did say so himself. But tonight, he wasn’t interested in wine. He was just interested in Cersei.

Cersei couldn’t help but giggle. “You are a foolish, old-fashioned romantic,” she said, playfully smacking at his shoulder, though she cuddled into his embrace all the tighter.

“And you like it even if you pretend otherwise,” Jaime pointed out.

“I do like it,” she murmured as Jaime reached their flat. It took some doing for him to scan the keycard, hold her, and nudge the door open, but he managed to do it. He carried Cersei across the threshold and then sat her gently on her feet. She’d turned on dimmer lights that ran around the floor of the room before leaving earlier and was grateful she’d remembered since she wasn’t used to the layout of the flat yet and Jaime had never even been here. They’d just wind up tripping over things like fools (not that they weren’t fools — fools in love) if she hadn’t left some light.

Cersei reached up to frame his face and lifted herself to her tip toes and fitted her mouth to his. It certainly wasn’t their first kiss since he arrived, but it was the first that they were quite sure they were utterly and completely alone with no one to interrupt, no one to threaten, and an entire night to love one another. They didn’t have to rush. Initially Cersei had thought they’d wind up just running to each other and ripping clothes off with Jaime taking her against the wall in a desperate frenzy. Unromantic as it might be, she was so desperate she’d have accepted that. But that wasn’t how it went.

As it were, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed back, long and deep, fingers tangling in his golden mane. It was only a few seconds into the kiss that she felt a soft, sensual moan from deep in her lover’s throat make its way into her mouth, like the growl of a lion with his mate — fitting.

“Where’s our room?” he asked softly, arms still wrapped around her lower back. Though he soon let her go so she could lead them through the darkened flat.

“Mm… good idea. I’ll show you the rest tomorrow.”

Cersei’s fingers linked their way through Jaime’s, where they always fit perfectly. She felt his thumb make soft, intimate circles on her skin and couldn’t help smiling at it. Every touch, sound, sight… All of it was imprinted on her memory while everything else simply fell away behind. The thought reminded her of a song from a bard she liked. ‘You took a polaroid of us, then discovered the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color.’ Yes, they were like that. Just like that.

She took him up the stairs. It took a few awkward minutes because she refused to let go of his hand to go up them, but they did finally make it to the top. The two hadn’t stopped having some form of physical connection ever since he’d arrived. “Wait right here.” Cersei realized for her next desire, she was going to have to let go of Jaime, as she needed both hands and to cross the room, which made her scowl in the darkness. She felt her way in unfamiliar darkness until she reached the dresser at the far wall. She’d left candles there earlier. She scratched a match and its guttering flare broke the darkness for a moment before a candlelight broke the darkness into dim. She had set a few along the length of the dresser top and lit each one. She sensed Jaime was looking in appreciation as the room was cast into enough light to see each other by, but still dim.

He chuckled in amusement upon seeing the rose petals she’d strewn across the bed, floor, and dresser top. It was fitting for the evening, certainly. He was peeling off his sneakers and socks when Cersei turned back to him and leaned to do the same with her sandals. Jaime grasped his t-shirt by the hem and tugged it over his head to reveal sculpted muscles and an expanse of skin with just a dusting of golden hair lightly scattered across his chest. Identical to what she knew she’d find below when the rest of his clothes came off. Jaime’s jeans were low cut and let her see the edges of his hip bones dipping down into them. She smirked upon realizing he was already half hard before she’d even touched him.

Normally Jaime was a relatively quiet lover, but he was realizing he might be less so tonight when Cersei padded the short distance to him in bare feet and pressed against him so their bodies were seamlessly joined. The contact made him almost instantly harden more. He groaned and Cersei smiled against lips already tangled together.

She pressed her hands between the two of them just enough to run her hands over his chest eliciting a gasp into their joined mouths when her thumbs circled the peaks of his nipples, making them stand hard, a mirror of the insistent hardness pressing against her stomach She felt his fingers ghost along the skin of her arms, bare from shrugging off the white denim bolero jacket she’d been wearing over her sundress. Every touch alone made her want to gasp. Her body felt completely keyed up, tense from how much it wanted his and how long they’d been apart. Part of her wanted him to just throw her on the bed and touch all the places that would bring her the peak she’d been craving since waking up after her dream on the plane. The other part wanted to take this slow and enjoy every second of it. Not that they wouldn’t have all night for repeated encounters…

She felt Jaime’s hands brush along her back through the material of her dress looking for the hidden zip, grinning when he finally found it and pulled it slowly until the dress sagged and Cersei let it pile on the floor at her feet like the cascade of a waterfall. His hands took the opportunity to run all along the curves of her back — especially the identical place at the lower spine where they were both sensitive causing a soft whimper of pleasure to spill from already kiss swollen lips.

Her fingers were still tangled in his hair and she allowed them to migrate down her back to the same place on Jaime’s body. And when she stroked him there, he stretched, leonine, beneath her touch. She could remember when they were very small, before they knew anything of sex, when they only knew what felt good, how they would lay on their sides facing each other, stroking each other’s lower backs and he’d get hard against her just because he felt good. Of course, their play and curiosity had only heightened as they got older and their bodies changed as did their minds. He seemed to be thinking about the same memory and chuckled softly against her ear before tugging at it with his lips and breathing, “I loved you even then. I still do and I will never love anyone but you.”

“I know. It’s the same for me,” she whispered to him, letting her hands slide across the planes of his shoulders, his chest, the muscles of his abs that flexed beneath her touch. “When they took me away… “ And she shuddered softly as Jaime pressed his mouth softly over hers and held her as they kissed for a long while then. His lips soft, gentle, reassuring and when they finally parted he said softly, “No one is going to take you away again.”

This seemed to be the reassurance she hadn’t realized that she needed after their seventeen months apart as her body, her need for him, again roared to life overpowering every other thought and emotion, driving her on and on until they could be one again. Every part of her sought that, demanded it, and she knew his body was doing the same.

Her fingers found the zip of his jeans and she undid them. She felt him chuckle as she didn’t hesitate before slipping her hand into his boxers the take his cock in her hand and stroke it, though the chuckle quickly turned into a low moan of pleasure as she stroked him inside the fabric. “Fuck, Cers,” he muttered low. “I won’t be able to take much of that,” he warned her.

His body had been craving her touch for months and it seemed ultra potent now that he had it. But she only chuckled and kept stroking him, sliding his skin slowly back and forth with her thumb to expose the tip and brushing it each time. Jaime groaned as his hips thrust into her hand instinctually make her laugh again as her fingers drifted lower, finding his balls and stroking each of them to, kneading them under her expert fingers ever so softly making his body pulse under her touch. And when she moved back to stroking him, she smirked, pleased, when she felt glistening pre-cum coat her fingers. She pulled him against her so they were flush together except for her hand and kept stroking him. And part of him wondered if she meant to torture him this way until his end. It would be a sweet torture for certain, but he wanted to come inside her.

“Cersei,” he warned again, more serious now as he started to feel his balls drawing up to his body. Warning him that he’d be unable to hold off finishing within a few seconds. But she knew Jaime’s body as well as she knew her own and slipped her hand away, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close to her, being sure not to give any added stimulation so his body could calm down a bit.

Jaime took several composing breaths to calm himself before Cersei felt him reaching for the clasp of the bra she wore, deftly unfastening it and pulling it from her body. She felt his hands replace the silk and lace to cover her breasts, which she pressed eagerly into his hands and he rewarded her with soft strokes of his thumbs over her nipples, making goosebumps appear all over her skin. Normally he might have pulled her into his arms and held her at such a height that he could easily take one and them the other into his mouth, but he didn’t yet trust his body to have such intimate parts of her so close and hold out.

Instead, he guided her to lay back on the bed and straddled her, sitting on his knees and leaned down to press a line of kisses up her stomach. She shifted beneath him with soft pants and gasps as his lips made quick work of devouring the skin of her stomach, her chest, her throat, her collar bones, her neck, her jaw, and the roundness of her breasts. Finally, he took one of her stiff peaks into his heated mouth and Cersei moaned and thrust her hips up toward him in response, her body screaming for more. Her core was aching and she could feel her arousal coating the inside of her thighs and between the sensitive folds of her skin. She grabbed for his hand , mercifully, he didn’t make her wait as she guided his fingers between her legs, though he certainly didn’t need the guidance.

His mouth still closed over her nipple, sucking it as his gentle fingers brushed through the arousal building in her center until he could stroke a thumb first over her center, over the folds of skin that surrounded it and then another finger found the bundle of her nerves and she moaned, instinctively trying to choke it off before she remembered, realized, they didn’t have to hide. The last time they’d been so wantonly free was in the lighthouse. Even after they were both home after those hideous months apart, if they snuck to be together the moment their father left the house at the same time Genna did or it was late at night, there were always servants. They had to keep quiet. Now they didn’t and she threw herself into it; while Cersei was not particularly loud her moans were frequent and intense as she instantly started thrusting her hips shamelessly against his fingers.

She whimpered as she felt her center tighten unmercifully, so hard it hurt. She hissed as his mouth came away for a moment just long enough to take her other peak in his mouth leaving the first wet and swollen. And as much as she was relishing his fingers on her, she had always also craved him _inside_ her. Perhaps that was because it was the closest they could physically be — literally inside each other, one being. Her hands found the waist of his boxers and tugged them. He had to shift positions letting go of her nipple to get them off, which made her groan. But he was quick while she lifted her hips and he got her panties off, throwing the soaking garment and his boxers to the floor leaving them only with each other. He thought about moving between her thighs and pleasuring her with his mouth, but she didn’t give him a chance.

Cersei was too overwrought by all the sensations, her core already so tight, the sensation already building low in her stomach. “Please Jaime. Please…” she gasped out and he didn’t make her wait, moving back to straddle her waist again, steadying them with a hand on her hip and Cersei moaned again as she felt him press inside her, her center stretching to take him, pulsing around him. And when he paired his entrance with a thumb gently stroking her clit, she came hard, fast, almost unexpectedly, her walls clenching and fluttering around him inside her as the sudden and intense climax rushed over her. Her body had been craving him and now it had him. Her fingers scored his back and she felt him moan and chuckle at once, clearly pleased how fast he’d brought her off. She couldn’t remember a time she’d come _that_ fast for him. Then again… they’d never been apart so long in all their lives. Her body didn’t need much coaxing. His hand fell away from her knowing she’d be too sensitive for his direct touch right now, but she held him to her pressing her face into his shoulder and murmured, “Don’t stop.”

“Wasn’t intending to,” he reassured her as his hips slowly found a gentle rocking motion with hers, sliding inside her gently, paying attention to her sensitivity. Jaime wrapped his arms around her as she lifted her back off the bed to get closer to him, tossing her head on the sheets as his mouth closed over hers and their tongues danced. Cersei’s fingers stroked over his chest, his back, the rippling muscles of his stomach as he pressed in and out of her and to the strength of the taught muscles in his thighs. She parted her legs further, wrapping them around his back and sliding herself further down for her ankles to cross over his waist so he sank inside her all the way. Cersei reached to finger his balls while he moved so no part of him would be left untouched. She liked touching him, making him gasp and moan softly. Was proud that she wasn’t so sensitive he had to stop, didn’t _want_ him to stop. She let herself shift on the bed, enjoying every moment of him inside her for the first time in so long, too long. She would never let them be apart this long again she mentally vowed. No matter what that took.

And so they moved together, their bodies sliding, giving and receiving. And with her already sated, Jaime let himself go, just focusing on the glory of moving inside her and the tensing of his muscles, feeling the building of his own orgasm, which he didn’t need to hold back. He let himself come as soon as his body wanted, only taking a few minutes of thrusting gently inside her for the pressure to build and the climax to come, a blinding white light behind his eyes as he cried her name and spilled inside her, his muscles pulsing. And Cersei couldn’t help but grin and gently keep lifting her hips slowly against his, rocking them together as he walls milked every contraction of his muscles out of him each one spilling more of himself inside her until he was spent. But even then she didn’t let him move, keeping him inside her, on top of her as they laid in the silence only panting breaths and heartbeats and each other for several minutes until he grew too soft to stay inside her and then turned them onto their sides to face each other.

Her hands stroked his face and their lips met softly, again and again. Their tongues danced and fingers tangled in hair and skimmed along the backs of necks as they kept enjoying one another, certainly not caring that their bodies had been sated. Their timing had not always been so good. She could remember back to those first times when he could only last a minute or two inside her. But he was good to her and always would use his fingers or his mouth to make sure she found pleasure too. But it was often quicker than either wanted. Just like tonight. And so they would lay there kissing and touching for as long as they wanted — or as long as they could get away with. Being alone now was a liberating feeling. They could do whatever they wanted. They could sleep all night long and all the next morning in each other’s arms, then walk to the kitchen with no clothes and he could kiss her and touch her whenever and wherever he felt like it. They could be free to simply love with no restrictions placed on them.

She turned to press herself against him the way they used to like to lay often enough, her back against his chest and his arm around her waist as he snuggled her close against him. “I missed you so much,” she whispered, her throat mysteriously tightening — like the child who cries only once someone they trust is nearby and they realize that it’s okay to. Jaime pressed her close and buried his face into the waves of her hair.

“I missed you too. But we’re together now. We have all the time we want. No one is going to keep us apart again.” And while they both knew it was easier said than done given that Tywin Lannister made basically every decision for the Lannister family right down to their schools to forbidding Cersei a political science major and forcing Jaime into one, this was one decision they were no longer going to allow him to make. Cersei wasn’t sure if they’d defy him openly or not. That was a whole other matter to be figured out later. But they weren’t going to be kept apart again, that much she knew. If they went to different schools she’d slip out over weekends and book tickets with cash instead of credit cards to see him or something. Her brain was fuzzy with climax and couldn’t really think out all the particulars at the moment, but she knew she wasn’t going to stay apart from him like they had been doing. Neither of them could take it anymore. It was destroying them, not as a couple but as people. That felt weird to think of, of them as a couple because they weren’t really. They never had been. They were a single soul split in two bodies. They were so much _more_ than a couple. They had a connection that no other people had, unique to them in all the world.

She felt his fingers slip through hers, lacing there as he moved a soft line of kisses over her shoulder making her shiver. “I’m so glad not to be apart anymore,” she said softly. It was a relief, like being able to breathe finally. As if they’d been sunk beneath the waves of the sea and now were raised again to life.

“No… We’re not,” he murmured, surprising her by pulling her back closer to him and she could feel he was hard again already, their bodies clearly demanding as much closeness as quickly as possible. She chuckled softly and brushed herself against him but he only groaned and said softly, “Gods don’t tease me.” And so she didn’t sliding against him, guiding his knee over her hip as he softly slipped inside her still wet heat, groaning softly at the depth being behind her allowed and the different angle. They’d not done this in a while. They rarely had the chance for anything particularly different, usually needing to take their pleasure quickly and quietly — just in case. This was a lovely exception and what he suspected might be the start of a pattern. How many nights in Braavos they’d spend like this at the end of a long day rocking lazily, gently against one another, bodies communicating things words didn’t, couldn’t.

“I love you so very much.”

“I love you too,” Jaime murmured softly, wrapping his warm arm tighter around her pulling her even more against him. Her head found the place under his chin she liked and his hand began to increase the intensity a little as he cupped one of her breasts in his hand again and teased it softly. And something about it reminded Cersei of the first time they’d been together like this. She knew he was thinking about it too when he whispered, “Remember…”

“Mm hm,” she responded. “Every moment.”

* * *

**11 th Green Corn Moon 2012**

The late morning sun was making Jaime half sleepy as he lay flopped on his bed in a comfortable position with his Nintendo 3DS in one hand. His expression lifted when his twin entered the room and closed the door behind her before scampering onto the bed, making it bounce slightly.

Cersei lost no time in crawling over the top of him and kissing him softly and giggled when he kissed her back and made the bed bounce just slightly again. Jaime lifted his head off the pillow to follow her mouth, initially with a soft kiss and then one that was slightly more insistent, pressing his tongue forward to find her warm mouth already waiting to welcome him. And when his tongue met hers she brushed her own around it. She stroked her hands across Jaime’s chest reaching beneath his t-shirt to feel the muscles beginning to define and tone from his fencing competitions. Cersei reached to find his hands and press them on her hips, but instead he lifted them to her face and let the kiss break slowly and then said, “I thought you were napping.”

Cersei rolled over onto her back beside him. “I was, but then I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep because…” She noticed the tent in Jaime’s swim trunks.

“Really?” she teased him sardonically and with a single raised eyebrow.

A slight flush spread across Jaime’s face. “I can’t help it! I can’t stop thinking about it… I wanted to have sex with you before and thought it couldn’t get worse. But now I know what it’s actually like!”

Cersei smirked. “Can’t get enough of me?”

“No…” Jaime answered honestly. And he knew that was mutual without needing to ask.

The two had wisely decided to wait until they had figured out some form of contraception before making love again like they had on Independence Night on the trampoline. But the month between was driving Jaime crazy. And he could tell it was driving Cersei crazy as well. That night, Cersei had known she wasn’t going to get pregnant. As their relationship had grown and they both knew that soon resisting being together in such a way was going to be a lost cause, she had made it a point to educate herself and figure out how to put her very regular cycles to good use.

The regularity with which Cersei bled, without fail, every eight and twenty days had made her irritated. When she’d gotten her moon blood, when she’d started developing the body of a young woman, it began to show ways she was different than Jaime — and made it harder for them to switch places. And Cersei didn’t like anything that made her different from Jaime. She also didn’t like how much it reminded her of her femininity and thus inappropriateness to be her father’s heir even if it was what both she and Jaime would have preferred. But that regularity and her research had allowed her to keep an eye on her cycle and know that she would be safe that night. But that was one night. It was different than taking such a risk on the regular.

The simplest solution would have been condoms, but Cersei had rejected the idea. Somehow it felt wrong to her to keep any part of Jaime away from her. Not to mention, condoms could be found. And that was the same for almost any sort of birth control Cersei could use. And she wasn’t sure she wanted to load her body up with a bunch of hormones either after having done some research online about the potential effects. It would make her periods shorter and lighter (potentially) but all the rest she wasn’t crazy about.

“Fortunately for you, I think I’ve figured out a solution to our problem.”

At this, Jaime set up with a grin and Cersei smirked as his pants lifted a little more.

“Okay well. We’re in Dorne. So we’re much less likely to get recognized than in Lannisport,” she began, getting off the bed and beginning to pace back and forth across the room.

She, Jaime, Aunt Genna, and the cousins had been brought along on a business trip Tywin was taking, ostensibly for Jaime to learn. But it had more turned out like a family vacation than anything else. But this morning everyone had slept in after a late night in the pool. Particularly Cersei who was also dealing with her aforementioned moon blood. Thank the Gods for tampons so their trip hadn’t been ruined and she’d been able to swim!

“Right. Following,” Jaime said, sitting up.

“Especially true if we don’t dress up too much. We’d look like two normal teenagers. Just anyone off the street. And two normal teenagers off the street can go to any Planned Parenthood and get help with things like birth control. In Lannisport there’s no way, but we could absolutely get away with it here.”

A grin spread across Jaime’s face. “You’re brilliant Cers. But… how are we going to distract Aunt Genna?”

“Simple. We don’t have to do anything. She’s going to the spa for a massage and a facial. She won’t be back for hours.”

“And Tyrion?”

“In his room reading. Also, I’m going to ask them about a copper IUD. No hormones, good for years, no trash or products to throw away that someone might find.” 

“What’s that, exactly?”

“It’s… A little thing made of copper that goes inside and stays in there which makes the uterus acidic which isn’t an environment suitable for getting pregnant. I read about it online when I was looking at forms of birth control. And when I looked on the Planned Parenthood website it said they offer it. And in Dorne, getting contraception or any other services don’t require parental consent. Gods bless Dorne and it’s progressive-ism!”

“But it’s safe? I want you safe.”

Cersei nodded. “The nurse or doctor will talk to us about it, but from what I read it is.”

“Do we need an appointment?”

Cersei shook her head. “Nope. We just go in. I just… really hope me being on my moon blood won’t be a problem.” She bit her lip. “But I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it if it is.”

“Let’s do it then.”

“Okay. I’m going to shower because I feel gross.” Who didn’t feel gross on their moon blood? “Put on clothes — besides swim trunks — while I do that. And remember to dress down. Nothing Lannister identifying. Just to be safe.”

When Cersei returned she was wearing a mint green shirt with a blowing dandelion and the words Just Breathe along with dark wash jean shorts and sandals. She’d put her hair in a simple fishtail braid. She didn’t even wear any jewelry, nothing telling at all. Jaime had done as well. He put his hair up under a cap and wore a nondescript white Adidas t-shirt with blue and grey lettering and black cargo shorts. “We did good,” Cersei said, looking them both up and down.

“You ready?” Jaime asked, reaching for her hand.

“Yep,” she said.

Sunspear was big, but he bikes available to rent almost everywhere and there was at least two or three Planned Parenthood locations given Dorne’s liberal approach to life. So biking to one wasn’t difficult. And Cersei was relieved that, at least for now, her cramps seemed to have abated.

Upon arriving, Cersei took Jaime’s hand and said, “Thanks.”

He tilted his head. “For what?” he asked, slightly confused.

“Coming with me. Not all guys would.”

Jaime wrapped his arm around her shoulders and leaned to press his lips to her hair. “I love you. And this is kind of a big deal. You shouldn’t have to do it alone. Any guy who won’t go with a girl doesn’t deserve her,” he said. Probably it was too big a sweeping generality to make, but Jaime still did feel that way. Not enough guys treated the girls they were with with the respect, attention, and care that they deserved. At least he knew that would never be the case with Cersei. He’d always make sure he was around to give her those things.

Cersei took a deep breath and nodded once, psyching herself up, and took Jaime’s hand, pulling the two of them inside the building. Now that she was here, she found herself to be having a little bit of anxiety, but that didn’t mean she was any less ready to follow through with this plan. This was the best, and perhaps only, chance she’d get. And even if it hadn’t been, she was sure it was what she wanted.

Holding Jaime’s hand the whole time, she came up to the reception window.

“Hello! How can I help you today?” a friendly woman asked.

“Hi. Um. We came to talk to someone about birth control,” she said, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet.

“You’re in the right place. Generally, for birth control we have you sit down with a healer trainee to talk about options and do a brief exam. Would that be okay?”

Cersei nodded. “Yep. That’d be fine.” She felt relief that it wouldn’t be a maester since they were always men. Not that that wouldn’t have been fine but… well… a woman was preferable. And Cersei liked that in Dorne things were liberal enough that a woman could have a profession like that.

“Excellent. Just go ahead and sign in on this clipboard and the trainee will call you when she’s ready.”

Cersei took the clipboard and very nearly signed her actually name before she caught herself and scribbled “Gillian” on the form. She’d thought about Joanna, but it was her mom’s name and they needed to be more cautious than that.

She slid her eyes to Jaime who nodded imperceptibly noting the name she’d chosen and he mouthed, “Arthur.” Cersei couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Of course he’d pick the name of a legendary pro fencer. But it worked well enough and wasn’t obvious in any way.

“Four and ten months.” She mouthed and he knew what she meant — how long they’d been ‘together’ -- just in case anyone would happen to ask. It was laughable and random but they could hardly say they’d been together since before they were even born could they. 

Cersei hoped they’d not be asked to show ID or their plan would be utterly foiled, but it hadn’t mentioned having to show any on the website, so all she could do was cross her fingers. And the receptionist hadn’t asked for any. She and Jaime went to sit down in the colorful waiting area. There were several other people there, but it wasn’t overly crowded. Somehow not being alone but also not having the place packed was comforting.

It was about twenty minutes later that a young looking Dornish healer in training came to summon them. “Sarella,” she said, extending her hand and both Cersei and Jaime spoke with her. It gave Cersei a start as she realized the beautiful dark-skinned girl was most certainly Sarella Sand — natural daughter of Oberyn Martell, the Red Viper. There was rumor she’d been petitioning the Citadel to allow women to join the ranks and take classes and that she was not the only one to do so. It was possible that this might finally happen, but for now Sarella must have chosen a path more accessible. That was all Cersei could figure.

Nonetheless, she found the young healer in training to be both competent and friendly as she sat them both down in a colorful office that had yellow and orange walls and comfortable looking furniture. There was the requisite exam table and the like, but it felt more welcoming that Cersei might have expected. Then again, that was Dorne. Color and beauty was everywhere, and thought she missed the sea and home, she thought if she ever must move from the Westerlands, Dorne would be the next best place.

“I need to get your vitals and ask you some questions and then do a quick exam so that I can make sure everything looks normal. Would you prefer that we spoke alone, or would you like Arthur to stay?”

Cersei reached for Jaime’s hand and held onto it tightly. Though she did not regret her decision to come, she was nervous and Jaime’s presence was a balm that helped. “I want him to stay, please.”

Sarella smiled and nodded. “Okay. I’ll get your vitals real quick. I’ll also have you provide a urine sample just so we can test for pregnancy.”

Cersei’s cheeks flushed with redness but she nodded. “Does it… um… matter that I’ve got my moon blood?”

“Not a bit. People are welcome at any time. We want to make sure everyone gets the services they need,” Sarella said reassuringly. “While I’m getting your vitals, why don’t you tell me a little bit about what brought you here today.”

“Um.” Cersei blushed again. While she had no embarrassment whatsoever about her intimacy with Jaime, talking about it with someone else was a little embarrassing. “I… want to get a copper IUD. And your website said that you offer them.”

“We do. And they’re an excellent birth control option for teens since you don’t have to remember to take a pill or put on a patch. It sounds like you’ve already done some research.”

Cersei nodded. “I have. I want something effective, non-hormonal, and that doesn’t leave any… evidence… behind.”

Sarella nodded knowingly. A number of teens came to the clinic for birth control without having talked with their parents beforehand. It was likely Gillian and Arthur’s parents either didn’t know they were having sex (or would be soon) or that they knew and wouldn’t approve. If only there was a way to make other people, even in a place as progressive as Dorne, understand that abstinence only was not effective! Some parents were beginning to understand, thank the gods, but not all. And Sarella saw far too many an upset young woman seeking an abortion for a baby she couldn’t take care of that could have been prevented by a positive sex ed program in schools that provided information about how to have safe sex.

Cersei’s vitals were normal and Sarella got in the cupboard above the desk with the laptop and brought down a sample cup and Cersei took it. “Bathrooms are just down the hall and to the right. When you’re finished, just put the lid on and put it inside the little door by the toilet paper holder. The lab will open it from the other side when they’re ready — and then come back here.”

Cersei nodded and took the cup. It didn’t surprise her that Jaime followed her right into the bathroom making her laugh and roll her eyes. But truthfully he hadn’t really thought about it. He’d just done it. “You’re weird,” Cersei said to her twin. He was standing there making faces in the mirror while Cersei tried to relax enough to pee in the cup. That was always the trouble with giving urine samples: it was awkward. However, laughing at Jaime took her mind off it and she was able to get the sample, put it where she was told, and then go wash her hands.

Back in the exam room, Cersei found her hand in Jaime’s again as Sarella scooted a comfortable distance from them on the rolling stool. “Okay so this is nothing too scary. I just want to get to understand some things about you so I can get to know you and your health history and make sure we get your needs met.

Cersei nodded. “All right.”

“Okay so tell me about your overall health. Do you have any medical conditions or take any medications?”

Cersei shook her head. “No to both.”

“Any history of major medical conditions in your family?”

Cersei thought briefly about Tyrion but didn’t think achondroplasia that she didn’t even have would factor into her feminine health. “Not that I know of.”

“That’s good,” Sarella offered the friendly smile she usually did, and Cersei liked that it didn’t seem fake at all. “Let’s talk a little bit about your moon blood. When did you last start bleeding?”

“Um… I had some like spotting on the seventh and then it started like… where I needed a tampon on the 8th.”

Sarella nodded. “Do you know about how often your moon blood comes?”

“Like… every twenty-eight days perfectly.”

“Do you have any bleeding between?”

Cersei shook her head. “No.”

“And how about cramping and other symptoms?”

“Um. Sometimes I get kind of bad cramps the first couple of days, but if I take Midol it goes away. Heat helps too. And I PMS sometimes, usually I get irritable and want junk food.”

Sarella laughed softly. “You and me both. For me it’s chocolate chip cookies — especially the dough. And now it’s really bad since they have that cookie dough you can eat.”

“Mint chocolate chip ice cream,” Cersei admitted, starting to feel more and more at ease now.

“Do you bleed very heavily?”

“Um… average probably. Some of my friends at school bleed more. Regular sized tampons work for me except for maybe the heaviest day.”

Sarella nodded and jotted some information down on Cersei’s chart but barely looked away from them. “Any pain, itching, discharge, strong smells? Anything like that?”

Cersei shook her head again. “No. At least nothing that isn’t… normal I don’t think. Some cream or egg white like stuff sometimes and then clear, stretchy stuff.”

Sarella nodded. “That sounds very normal. Those sorts of secretions are usually tied to your ovulation. When the fluid gets stringy and eggy that’s around the time you’ll likely be ovulating. It can be really helpful to track your cycle with an app.”

“I have been. Some of my friends at school use one called Flo. I started using it three or four months ago.”

“That’s excellent! You’re very well informed. That’s certainly something to continue with.” She paused and then said, “You’re comfortable talking about sex with both of you here?” she asked to confirm.

“Yes,” Cersei said, slipping her fingers into Jaime’s.

“Okay. Have you had sex before?”

“We did. Once. A month ago.”

“Have either of you ever had other partners in the past?”

Both shook their heads. “No… And I know he’s being honest about it because we’ve known each other since like… before elementary school so.”

Sarella chuckled. “It’s still optional to you either of you to get a confidential STD test if you want. And I always recommend an HPV vaccine for all people between the ages of one and ten and five and forty who haven’t had it before.”

Cersei knew if she said they didn’t need to have the vaccine and that they’d never have other partners in their lifetime that Sarella was absolutely going to to think they were naive. Cersei knew that they weren’t. They came into the world together and would go out of it together. There would never be another person she could be with and knew it was the same for Jaime. But there was absolutely no way to explain that. Plus, she’d heard of the vaccine before. “We can get it as long as it won’t hurt the birth control stuff.”

Sarella looked to Jaime who confirmed what Cersei had said.

“Excellent. I can have a nurse come in and give the vaccine after we finish up here. You’ll need a second dose in six months. Is there someplace you can get the vaccine when you’re home?”

The healer had definitely noticed the Westerlands accent, so it was a good thing they’d not tried hiding it. “Yep. I know a place.” Technically there was a Planned Parenthood in Lannisport that they could go back to to get the second dose of the shot if they even decided to do it. She supposed it wasn’t the worst idea in the world if for the only reason that they were going to have the first of the shots anyway. But it wasn’t something she thought about that much.

“Good. Okay so… You talked about getting a copper IUD. So let’s talk some about that. You know that it does not protect against STIs. Only condoms and dams do that.”

“Yes. But since we’re only… there isn’t anyone else. Is it safe to use just the IUD?”

“Absolutely. It’s one of the most effective forms of birth control — 99%.”

Cersei looked at Jaime and grinned and found him grinning right back at her.

“Now, like all birth control, the Copper IUD — which we call Paraguard — comes with some side effects. It can make your moon blood heavier, cause you to bleed between moon bloods, and make your cramps worse. Though these side effects should lessen within a few months and your moon bloods may become lighter or stop altogether eventually. There’s also the risk that the IUD can migrate out of the uterus, though that is very rare. It’s also possible that your body may expel it. And having it inserted may be painful since you’ve never had children. However, it will actually be helpful that you’re on your moon blood right now as, though an IUD can be placed any time, your cervix is most open right now and it is usually the least painful time to insert it. And it does come with benefits as well. It’s immediately effective, meaning you can have sex as soon as you feel up to it, doesn’t require a back-up method of birth control, you don’t have to do anything to maintain it, and it’s good for up to ten years. So those are all great benefits.”

They were all side effects and benefits Cersei knew about from reading online and she nodded, though did ask a follow-up question. “How will I know if it came out or if it’s… In the right position?” She also found herself relieved that her being on her moon blood wouldn’t mess anything up and might even help.

“If it’s expelled you’d likely find it in the toilet or your underwear. That would also be accompanied by pain and bleeding. To check the positioning there are little strings you can feel for. They’ll be inside and up high, so they won’t be in your way.”

“Like a tampon string?” Cersei inquired.

“No. Much thinner. Here… I have a model one.” Sarella dug around in the cabinet for a minute and then pulled out an IUD. “Obviously this one isn’t going to be used, it’s just to show people what it looks like, but you can see the strings are so thin they’re not noticeable. You shouldn’t feel them during sex or when changing a pad or tampon — only when you reach up with intent to look for them near your cervix. Which I will show you how to do as it’s a good idea to check periodically to make sure they are there.”

Cersei looked at the device and fingered the strings of it. “It’s even smaller than it looked like online.”

“Yes. A uterus in its normal state — not during pregnancy — is only about three or four inches by half and two.” Sarella paused a moment before continuing. “If you want to, we can go ahead and get started. I’ll do a quick pelvic exam to make sure everything looks normal and then place your IUD at the same time. I’ll leave you some Tylenol to take and have the nurse come in and give you your shots now and give it some time to take effect and you some time to change clothes and then I’ll be back.” She got into the cabinet and got out a gown for Cersei before departing.

And when the door was shut, Cersei immediately had Jaime’s face in her hands and was kissing him. “We can be together tonight,” she murmured when their kiss finally broke.

“If you feel like it, Cers. It’s fine if you don’t. She said getting it put in can hurt.”

“I’ll feel like it,” Cersei avowed. “I miss you inside me. I’ve been dreaming about it for weeks,” she admitted. She had to scramble away from him, though, when a nurse bearing an instrument tray with prepared injections on it, and a dose of Tylenol for Cersei, entered the room. Both got their shots and when they were alone again, Cersei changed into the gown she was given, folding her clothes on the chair beside Jaime. They couldn’t resist using the time they were alone to kiss, though keeping an ear out for anyone to knock on the door and quickly pulled apart before Sarella returned.

"I just got the results from the lab and your pregnancy test is negative, which is excellent. If you're ready you can get on the table and we'll go ahead with your exam and IUD insertion."

Cersei laid on the exam table and Sarella had her scoot down to put her feet in the stirrups as directed and Sarella talked her through the process. “I’m going to touch down here now to examine your vulva and vagina to make sure everything is normal here.” Her fingers were gentle as she examined Cersei, checking carefully at each fold and nodding in approval. “I’m going to slide one finger inside to do an internal exam. It shouldn’t hurt, so let me know if you start to feel uncomfortable at all.” She slid one gloved finger inside while at the same time with the other hand she did something that felt like she was kneading Cersei’s belly, though it wasn’t uncomfortable, only a little awkward.

“Next, I’m going to look inside to see your cervix with a device called a speculum. It will gently stretch your vaginal walls open so I can see and let me actually put in your IUD.”

“It looks like a duck,” Jaime pointed out when Sarella picked up the instrument from the tray. Cersei smacked at him playfully while Sarella laughed.

“I hadn’t considered that, actually, but it kind of does, doesn’t it?”

Like Sarella had said, the speculum felt like an awkward pressure, but wasn’t painful. Cersei held still while Sarella looked and nodded her approval. “Everything looks absolutely normal. I’m going to use a little sponge to clean with some antiseptic to prevent any infection before we put in your IUD,” she explained just before she did it. The solution felt slightly cold but not uncomfortable. Once this was done, the healer changed gloves and then reached for the little package that held the IUD, pressing its arms down as she slipped it into a tube, which she threaded through the speculum. “Do your best to relax your stomach muscles and breathe.”

Cersei cringed as the IUD went in, clenching her teeth hard. Tears beaded at the corners of her eyes and Jaime wiped them away gently.

“Doing okay?” Sarella asked, looking up at Cersei who nodded. It hurt. It actually hurt a lot, but it wasn’t unbearable and its intensity began to fade after Sarella trimmed the strings short and removed the speculum. She also encouraged Cersei to reach up and feel the strings so she knew what she was looking for during her monthly checks to make sure the IUD was properly in place. And then it was done and Cersei let out a huge sigh of relief.

“You did great,” Sarella encouraged with a smile. “You were very brave. How are you feeling? Dizzy at all?”

“Kind of ache-y, but I felt that way before. But not dizzy.”

“Good. You should lay here for a few minutes and rest until you feel like getting up and changing.”

Jaime then remembered something. “We got rented bikes. Is there a kiosk I can turn them back in close to here and maybe get us an Uber instead? I didn’t think about that when we rode here.”

Sarella smiled at him and nodded. “There’s a kiosk for either rental or return at the corner actually.”

“You’re okay for a few minutes, Gillian? I’ll be right back.”

Cersei nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine. I’m just going to lay here and let things… settle and then I’ll get dressed and we can go.”

Sarella stood and washed her hands. “Please feel free to come back any time you need and definitely reach out if you have any problems.”

“I will. Thanks. You were really nice.”

Sarella smiled. “I’m glad I was able to help. You may want to go home and rest for a little bit with a heating pad or hot water bottle and you can take another dose of tylenol if you do get cramps.”

Cersei nodded and then was left on her own for a brief time while Jaime took the bikes back. By the time he returned, he was able to help her off the table and help her get dressed even though she insisted she could have done it fine on her own.

“How was it?” he asked.

“It hurt,” Cersei said honestly. “But it was worth it too.”

Jaime smiled. “I’m glad.” He pulled her gently into his arms and held her against his chest. “Let’s go out front. Our Uber is supposed to be here any minute.”

Sure enough, when they got outside, the Uber was idling out front and Jaime helped Cersei in before sliding in after her. She rested her head on his inviting shoulder and snuggled against him while the driver quickly ran them through the streets toward the house they were staying at. Cersei was glad they’d taken the Uber as the sky had become cloudy and it had begun to sprinkle and then by the time they reached the door, the rain was starting to come a little harder.

“You can go upstairs and I’ll be there in a minute,” Jaime said as they came inside. He looked around for a second before kissing her hair.

Cersei nodded, feeling more tired than she had before and slogged her way upstairs to her room.

Jaime encountered Tyrion in the kitchen having a snack of banana and peanut butter. Jaime ruffled his hair. “Seen Aunt Genna or Father?”

“Nope. Still at the spa and still in meetings,” Tyrion said. “Can I play with the Macbook hooked up in the living room or do you want it?”

“All yours little bro. I’m going to nap.”

“Sweet!” Tyrion exclaimed, leaping up from his chair, banana and juice forgotten, and headed for the living room.

Jaime, meanwhile, got into the fridge and got some sprite for Cersei as well as two Tylenol from a first aid kit that he already knew was in the downstairs bathroom. In the cabinet he found a water bottle as well and filled it with tap water as hot as he could get it. He was used to taking care of Cersei during her moon blood if he could get away with it and knew exactly what to do.

He took the sprite, medicine, and hot water bottle upstairs. He put them by Cersei’s room for a minute, went to his own room and turned on the television, piled a couple of pillows with a hoodie in his bed, and closed the door. He’d been getting away with that trick forever. His father or Genna would simply look in, see ‘him’ watching TV or sleeping, and back out without interrupting. With his room set — just in case either did get home any time soon though he doubted they would — he went and let himself into Cersei’s room before shutting and locking the door behind him.

She was awake but snuggled in bed wearing one of Jaime’s shirts that was too big for her and went down to her thighs and a pair of boy shorts. She sat up when he entered the room and smiled when she saw what he brought. “You always take care of me.”

“Always will,” Jaime said, sitting on the edge of the bed and giving her the medicine and the glass. Once she finished that. Jaime gave her the hot water bottle, stripped down to his boxers, and crawled into bed with her. Cersei snuggled against him with the warm bottle on her stomach and found that she was getting sleepy and soon dozed off in Jaime’s arms.

When Cersei woke, she found she was confused about the time. The room had gotten dark and she couldn’t tell if that was because it was night or because of the storm. The confusion that came when you woke up was one of the reasons Cersei did not enjoy taking naps. It was that confusion that felt like it was the middle of the night even if it wasn’t. Her phone on the end table lit up and she reached for it, not jostling Jaime.

> ## Aunt Genna
> 
> #####  **Today** , 6:30 PM
> 
> Aunt Genna
>     I finished at the spa, but I met some absolutely delightful ladies while I was there and was invited over for drinks and cyvasse. I’ll be home by ten.
>     Make sure Tyrion eats something other than food that will rot his teeth and goes to bed at a decent hour. Love you.

As if Tyrion wasn’t perfectly capable of fixing himself some food and getting himself to bed? Tyrion was more self capable and resilient at six than she and Jaime had been put together. He had inherited their father’s brilliance even if not his stature. Nonetheless, she supposed she’d check on him later or have Jaime do it.

> Cersei
>     Okay.

She turned back to her phone and saw an older message.

> ## Father
> 
> #####  **Today** , 4:37 PM
> 
> Father
>     Still tied up in business meetings. I won’t be home until late. Order food in. I’ll make up for it tomorrow. We’ll go out in the yacht tomorrow afternoon.

Cersei brightened at this. She did enjoy going sailing.

She felt a nagging guilt from Aunt Genna’s message and groaned, opening her text messages.

> ## Tyrion
> 
> #####  **Today** , 6:36 PM
> 
> Cersei
>     What are you doing? Do you need anything?
> 
> Tyrion
>     Crusader Kings II.
>     No. I stole Jaime’s credit card and ordered pizza online. There’s some down here if you want it.

Cersei rolled her eyes. And of course he was playing a war conquering game. 

> Cersei
>     I’ll come down in a while. Who’re you playing the campaign as?
> 
> Tyrion
>     Aegon I.

Cersei smirked and couldn’t resist a return text. 

> Cersei
>     Father would be disappointed.
> 
> Tyrion
>     Meh. Aegon has a way cooler story arc over all than most of the others and can do a lot more. Plus Lann the Clever doesn’t have a dragon

Cersei actually laughed and tossed the phone back on the end table before cuddling down next to Jaime again. And when she did she noticed two things. One was that she was feeling a little bit better. She still had cramps, but they weren’t as intense. They had moved from knives to more like a dull, persistent ache. The second thing she noticed was that Jaime had, well, would you call it night wood instead of morning wood?

Cersei slipped out of bed and padded across the room to the ensuite bathroom. She used the toilet, pulled the pad out of her boy shorts and threw it away — she hadn’t felt like dealing with tampons after her painful IUD insertion — , washed her hands, and dropped her boy shorts on the floor to pick up later.

Slipping back into bed, Cersei scooted up against Jaime with her back to his stomach. She liked to lay that way with his arms around her. But she also wasn’t sure she felt like moving her stomach very much just now or having anything pressed against it. But there was something definitely doing some pressing against her. Her lips pulled into a grin as she wondered what Jaime was dreaming about and slowly pressed herself back against him, rubbing her lower back against his rapidly growing hard-on. Good for both of them. Jaime groaned in his sleep and mumbled her name before beginning to slowly grind his hips against her. That felt good! Cersei reached for Jaime’s hand and slipped it under her shirt and up to her breasts, encouraging him to thumb at her sensitive nipples.

And that was when he finally woke up and gasped, jerking upward like a man coming up from under water as he looked around the darkened room to get his bearings and realize the latest actions had not been just a dream. Cersei followed him into a sitting position and put a hand gently on his back.

“Sorry,” he muttered, a blush staining his cheeks.

“No,” Cersei murmured, reaching for his face and bringing him close to kiss her. “I want you to,” she mumbled against his lips as she continued the kiss, gently parting his lips to let their tongues brush against one another. It took Jaime a minute to catch up, but soon he had turned back toward her and was kissing her softly, tonguing at her lips and tongue with his own. Her fingers curled into Jaime’s hair and increased the pressure. But, in a few moments, the angle of sitting up made her gasp softly and pull away, as it reawakened the pain in her belly from sitting up and she found herself laying back down with a hand pressed to it.

Jaime laid down beside her. “We don’t need to do anything,” he said quickly, reaching to put his hand over hers.

“But I want to,” she said, nearly pouting. Much as she’d teased him earlier for wanting her for the entire month, she’d wanted him just as much. “Sarella said we could as soon as I felt like it. I’m okay as long as I don’t bend my stomach or press much against it. And it feels like it’s been forever.”

“You’re sure?” Jaime asked, concern etched in his forehead and green eyes.

“Yes.”

His lips in her hair, against the nape of her neck was his response. He settled on his side and guided her to lay how she had with her back against his chest and gave her a minute to catch her breath before he brushed her hair out of the way and began pressing kisses further along her neck and shoulder until the fabric of the t-shirt stopped him. But instead of giving up, his hand slipped beneath the shirt the way he’d done when he was asleep. His hand palmed her, covered her, and his thumb stroked her nipple until it stood hard against his fingers making her whimper softly.

Cersei tilted her head over her shoulder and was soon lost in a kiss with him where their tongues danced together like the flames of a fire growing and building. It matched the fire growing in her belly — the one that had nothing to do with moon blood, cramps or IUDs. And it kept growing when his fingers slipped along her chest, reaching his arm around her to give attention to her other breast.

He knew exactly how to touch her. Was that because he had been touching her a lot in the past weeks to make up for what they couldn’t do? She couldn’t count the number of times they’d slipped into each other’s rooms to rub against one another through their pajama shorts until both of them reached a blessed release at last and yet still missed what they now knew and understood and wanted. Or was it because he just knew her soul the way she knew his? She didn’t know and thought maybe it was both.

She made a soft frustrated sound when she realized her current position did not allow her much access to his body to return his touches and make him feel good. Though the way he was slowly rubbing his hips against her lower spine was most certainly enjoyable to them both. But his mouth reached her ear and he whispered, “Just let me. I want to.”

So she relaxed into his body and into his touches, thinking about how when she felt better she could do these things to him as well. Later. Because now they could be together as much as they wanted. Every night if they wanted. The thought — or maybe Jaime softly grinding his hips against hers — sent a flash of heat and pulse right to her very center. She moved herself against him in slight motions, being very careful not to move in any ways that were uncomfortable to steal her breath and interrupt them. The soft motions were clearly enjoyable as he muffled soft gasps into her skin and breathed her name in the voice that dropped lower when his want for her built.

His hand journeyed from her breasts, very carefully across her belly to find that she’d taken off the boyshorts, making him grin. “Yours off too,” she told him, shifting so he couldn’t touch her until he complied. But Jaime had no problem complying with that command as he sat up, lifted himself off the bed slightly by digging his heels into the mattress and flung the boxers off. Cersei used the moment to force his t-shirt over her head and off so that when they came together again they were skin on skin with nothing in their way for the first time since the month before. Both of them mirrored twin gasps as he pressed against her again and she pressed back. Both of them had been well aware that if undergarments came off, they wouldn’t be able to resist after that first time. And now they didn’t have to. They would never have to again.

And now she let him touch her, whimpering in desire when his fingers found their way between her folds and his thumb brushed her clit like he knew she wanted. She could only make a soft moan that he (correctly) interpreted as a desire for more contact given she began pressing herself against his fingers, trying not to move in a way that would be uncomfortable but still giving maximum touch. But Jaime knew her body like his own and he pulled her close against him and gave more full touches that satisfied the cravings. He could feel that she was wet with some mixture of desire and maybe blood. He had a vague thought that it was a good thing they were in her bed rather than his so a little blood would not seem amiss.

“Please, Jaime!” she hissed softly when his fingers tested her. It took a moment of figuring out as she bent her knee slightly and their legs and feet were soon entangled. When their bodies joined, and Jaime was inside her, everything once again felt _right_ in the world.

* * *

**24 th Old Moon 2020**

The memory of being together, of making the decision and taking the risks they needed to ensure they could be together safely only increased the current desire and he whispered, “I remember that day too.” Because so often they did that, thinking of the same thing. “I thought you were so brave.”

Cersei laughed softly, snuggling against him. “And does my bravery excite you, my love?” she asked, knowing very well it did. The times she did daring things nearly destroying him with need and want. That same part of his blood that sang when he fenced or fought with swords also screamed with want when Cersei did something bold and brave. “I think you were just excited that we could be together again.”

Jaime repaid her by making a point to brush firmly against her g-spot and Cersei let out a much louder moan than she had before. “Your bravery definitely excites me,” he growled low in her ear.

And thinking of it increased her need and caused her to press herself harder back against him letting him go a little bit deeper. And when he shifted his angle slightly he pressed against the place that he could usually only reach when he as behind her this way. Cersei whimpered when he found it, letting him know, though the clenching up of her muscles deliciously around his cock told him just as much and he began pressing into her a little faster now than he had done the day of the memory since there were no cramps to worry about today. He held her against him as he pressed inside her with rapid, shallow thrusts. Cersei mimicked his motions, pushing back against him, arching her back into him and letting out near constant, soft gasps as he pressed against her sensitive place again and again.

Cersei whimpered as she longed for touch in her most sensitive areas as well. While she was one of the fortunate women could could climax from penetration alone, didn’t mean the touch to her most sensitive places wasn’t wonderful. Soon enough she couldn’t resist and her hand skirted down between her legs to her aching clit, but Jaime sensed what she was doing before her fingers got there, and he brushed them away finding the bundle of nerves on his own and beginning to brush it softly in a rhythm in tandem with his motions inside her and Cersei mewled, arching her back so she pressed herself into his touch harder now. Despite the soft, cuddly position, the sex was quickly building to be as intense and passionate as the first time. Not that that was a problem! She let out a steady proliferation of moans as Jaime combined pressing against her g-spot and gently fingering her clit and the areas around it. She would press forward into his fingers and then back into his hips and it was perhaps the most exhilarating feeling having both of those areas stimulated while he was also inside her, holding her, filling her with him. And so she sped up her motions, fucking herself on his hand just as much as she was from having him from behind her. And breathing increased and she was panting, moaning softly near nonstop, body beginning to shake and Jaime knew she was close.

He was too. Just _how_ turned on Cersei was was definitely arousing for him. At their respective schools they would use their webcams or face chat and she would undress for him and touch herself, panting and moaning while they were both alone in their dorms. And he’d come for her without even touch himself. It was torture to do it but Cersei took a perverse pleasure in torturing him so.

“Let… I’m close. Let go and I’ll… gods!” Cersei hissed. She wanted him to so badly, wanted to feel him pulse inside her and feel the warm rush of his seed inside her. The rush that someday maybe, if they could find a way to make it happen, would meet a welcome place for a child of their love to form. Cersei’s mind flashed back to his perfect timing of hitting the right place in front of her at the exact moment that his fingers caressed her clit. “Oh… Gods! Fuck,” she whimpered, the language rolling off her tongue as she felt her climax build, felt herself on the very edge of falling over into it. With continued soft moans and an insistent. “Gods… _Jaime!_ ” She felt herself come apart in an explosion of color and feeling that was even more intense than the first given they were building on each other. Not to mention the feeling of him climaxing hard inside her, his fingers clenching hard on her skin, his leg over her hip pinning her tight as he moved in a frenetic pace in the grips of his height of pleasure. And Gods did it feel good as her body tightened, contracted round him again and again and again, stretching out even longer than it normally did and Gods was she glad and was it worth it.

This time when they were both spent, he slipped out of her so she could turned to face him, pressed chest to chest, her body shaking with aftershocks. But she took his half hard cock in her attentive hand and with practiced gentleness, stroked him so very softly until he was no longer hard, her face against his chest the entire time while his arms were around her.

“I love you, Jaime,” she breathed against his sweaty skin.

“And I you, my sweet Cersei.”

“Now we don’t have to be apart anymore.”

Jaime just pulled her to his chest and squeezed her gently in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Jaime and Cersei explore Braavos


End file.
